Life as a President: Important Questions I Have

In honor of yesterday's inaugural festivities, I present the following thought-provoking questions about life in the White House...
1. Who washes their underwear? Do total strangers wash the dirty underwear of the President and First Lady?
2. If they want to order a pizza, to which door (there's like a million of them) do they send the Domino's guy? Should he tip the guy extra? He is the President, after all.
3. Who house-trains the new Presidential puppy? Is there an aid in charge of pooper-scooping?
4. What if the President or First Lady needs something "unmentionable" from the drugstore...who gets it for them?
5. If the President and First Lady have a nasty tiff, can one of them sleep in the Lincoln bedroom to "cool off"?
6. Who brings the snacks to the Cabinet meetings? Do they just take turns or is there a sign up sheet? And do they ever play Texas Hold'em when things get tense, you know, just to blow off a little steam?
7. If the President's child spills Koolaid on the rug in the Oval Office, who pays to have it replaced? Or does the Pres. keep some Resolve in a drawer in the Resolute desk?
8. Who shops for the First Family's toiletries? Is there someone who gets paid for shopping for the President's Rightguard and, if so, does this position come with health insurance and retirement benefits?
9. Will the First Family have to take their own movie rentals back to Blockbuster or will Vice Pres. Biden do it? (It's not like the VP has anything better to do...sheesh)
10. When the President's children have a sleepover, can the children play hide and seek in the China Room and are they allowed to slide down the banister of the Grand Staircase?

America is dying to know!