In His Lap

When I was a child and it was my weekend to be with my daddy, I couldn't wait to get in his lap and feel his arms squeeze me close to him. Nobody could hug me like he did. The smell of his aftershave and the prickles of his whiskers on my cheek were medicine to my hurting little heart and I drank deeply every weekend that I spent with him, wishing that I could hug him every day. Little boys and girls need the lavish affection of their fathers.

These past weeks, I trimmed away some of the distractions in my life for a while so I could pull in, narrow my focus and curl up next to God. I don't mean this to sound spooky- spiritual or religious. I just mean it for what it is...a little girl who needs more affection from her Daddy and the only way she knows to get it is to cuddle up next to Him.

Somehow many of us become so swept away with the distractions of life that we forget how badly we still need to curl up in our Heavenly Father's lap and drink Him in. And sadly many of these distractions, some of them good things or, even worse, ministry things, become poor substitutes for what our souls desperately need...lavish affection from the only One who knows who we really are.

When was the last time you sat in His lap?

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What Is Wrong With The Church: Some Simple Thoughts

Churches, like individuals, come in all shapes and sizes with varying personalities, purposes and visions. Some are full of life and draw you in, beckoning you to become a part of its' vitality. Others are cold, arid and devoid of life, causing you to want to run for the door like one might hurry to leave a mausoleum. The living won't linger among the dead. And many, many are somewhere in between, unremarkable, uninspiring and largely unattended.

Yesterday morning I attended a service at a church that is full to bursting with the life of God and I came away encouraged, challenged, and hungry for more. More of God and more of healthy body life. And just for the record, that is how I believe church should be. It seems that everyone has their own idea of what church should or should not look like and some believe that their way is the only way. But, if I might make a bold assertion, I don't believe God is the least bit offended by diversity. The last thing He is going to be crammed into is a man-sized box designed to formularize the God of the universe and the "building of His church", which is His job-not ours. (Matt 16:18)

What does offend Him is pride, which, oddly enough, is at the root of every problem that is encountered in the church. Pride elevates self over God and this is, quite simply, what threatens the furthering of the Gospel and the very life of the church. It would seem to me that if we stopped trying to do His job (building the church) and merely cooperated with Him by disregarding self, adoring Him, and loving others.....the church would explode in such a way that our finite minds never imagined. I don't pretend to have all of the answers and I don't even know what such cooperation with Him should necessarily look like. I suspect it will look gloriously different in different places. But always is will be devoid of pride. Always His children would refuse to focus on what they find disagreeable in the church and choose to focus on all that is good and right in His Face. Simplistic, I know, but I am foolish enough to believe that the Gospel was intended to be just that.

Your thoughts?

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Life's Great Mysteries--# 572

How is it that I carry a camera around with me at all times and yet when given the opportunity to spend a tremendous week of ministry with some of my very favorite people on the planet, I took NO PICTURES? Nix. Nil. Nada. You get the point.

It is a great mystery. I am a great mystery. Okay, really I am not, I am just totally and completely forgetful. But I want to enjoy life as I am living it rather than just take pictures of it. I do try, really I do. This was supposed to be a fascinating post on the power of team and how a motley group of crazy, love-sick Christian leaders get together and pull off a camp for hundreds of children every summer. I was going to tell you what incredible people I am privileged to work with as we plan this camp throughout the year and how no one is prideful and self-promoting but rather everyone lays their lives down, surrenders their gifts and talents, and the lives of children are forever changed. I was going to comment on the fact that the many children's pastors I work with are of the highest caliber. How they are not known nationwide is yet another of life's great mysteries. Napoleon once said that "A leader is a dealer in hope." And these leaders offer hope in immeasurable abundance to the children of this generation. I love the power of "we" and how together we attain what alone we could only dream. These are the things I wanted to tell you.

And I was going to post a picture of these amazing leaders that I call friends but, as I mentioned earlier, my camera never made it out of my bag. And that is mystery # 572.

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Unlikely Warriors

"Some of the most brilliant battles have been fought by the most unlikely warriors."
-A Wrinkle In Time (movie)




I had the privilege of speaking to more than seven hundred kids and adult leaders at Kids Aflame Camp this past week. I am amazed each year to see children run to the altars and surrender their hurts, their hopes and their very lives to the living God. He knows all too well what hellish pain many of them have endured and He is always faithful to heal, to fill and to make new the lives of some of the tiniest of His warriors.

Children are not merely the hope of tomorrow. They are the unlikely warriors of today and my desire is to see the church make room for them, for their gifts and callings. Now. Today. Oh, how we need them!

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Chips and Axes: Are You In Possession?

Wednesday I wrote a post about the danger of allowing your passions to carry you along in leadership without first submitting to the Divine process of "proofing." The logical question to ask then is "do I have a chip on my shoulder and an axe to grind and how do I recognize them?"

It is painfully simple to see if you know what you are looking for. A man or woman who has been through this Divine process is willing to lay aside the passion in their heart if God asks. She is more fascinated with being with her Father than she is with working for Him. He is willing to cooperate with whatever authority is in his life even if it appears his passion will not take top priority. But when your pet passion, be it ending poverty, caring for the elderly, pastoring a megachurch or foreign missions, is the driving force in your life, you had better check your shoulder and your hands because you are most likely armed and dangerous and of precious little use to God. He chooses yielded vessels. He chooses vessels that do NOT dictate to Him the what and the how but instead are willing to completely die to the very passion that He instilled in them.

For me, it was eighteen years before He gave me permission to publically speak and write about the passion of my heart. And I thank God for the Divine process for it is that alone that makes the leader ready for the heat that inevitably accompanies leadership and the living out of the Holy discontent that keeps you awake at night. Leader, check your shoulder, check your hands and embrace the process.

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Chips and Axes: Weapons of Mass Destruction

It is a scary thing to work with a leader who has an axe to grind and a chip on his or her shoulder. And yet such leaders are everywhere, even in the church. Chips and axes are passions that have not been yielded to the tempering that comes from the Divine process. Unyielded passions will always become chips and axes and these will most assuredly become weapons that hurt those to whom you desire to minister.

My passion, my holy discontent as Bill Hybels calls it, is seeing women free in the church to lead in any capacity God desires and not be held back due to misuse of Scripture. For almost twenty years I wrestled with my passion and God put me through a process, a Divine process, that was necessary for me to be trustworthy with this message God placed within me. It is a proofing just like bread dough must go through before it is ready for the heat of the oven. The dough must be worked and kneaded and then put aside for the yeast to do it's job of making it ready to bake. Usually the dough is then "punched down" and set aside a second time for it to rise and become ready for the heat. And so it has been in my life. God has put me through rigorous circumstances and then put me aside while His deposit has done it's work within me. And then came the punching down (it is agony, friends) and more time sitting alone, waiting. All the while He was at work in the interior, making the woman ready before I could be trusted with His message.

There must be this season of proofing so that your passions do not become a chip or an axe. And if a leader is placed into the "heat of leadership" before the process is complete, what results is hard and incapable of being nourishment to others. How do you know if you do have a chip on your shoulder and an axe to grind? Head on back here Friday and I will tell you...

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Deadline? What Deadline??

So, I spent the entire day yesterday finishing my preparations for a speaking gig I have in a little less than two weeks. I am privileged to be speaking to five or six hundred kids at Kids Aflame Camp in Bradenton, Florida. Sadly, due to my recent two week bout with lung sludge, I was a little late getting all my stuff into the media gurus that make everything flow flawlessly for a solid week of camp. I got it all done, though, and I was even able to make a few sage observations as I was wrapping up my work late last night.

Observation one: I suck at power point.

Observation two: My husband ROCKS at power point and he is my hero.

Observation three: I couldn't get all of my work done, take care of my three kids and write a decent post for today.

Observation four: I could not possibly skip a post and I would rather just let you get a peek into my life, chaotic though it is at times, than not show up at all. That would just be rude.

Observation five: I HATE to be late on a project deadline when other people are counting on me.

No, I don't have issues. Why do you ask?

The thing is, life happens, sometimes you get sick, and you just have to do the best you can with what you have to work with. My wise grandmother used to tell me to "just play your best with the hand you are dealt." Words to live by. What about you? Have you skidded into home plate just in the nick of time on any deadlines lately?

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A Simple Truth

I have recently been feeding on a truth that I once learned in a 1994 Henry Blackaby Bible Study called "Experiencing God." One of Blackaby's key points is to "watch to see where God is working and join Him." It seems a simple truth but one that many people fail to remember. We are by nature self-centered so it is only natural to ask, "What is God's will for my life?" The better question to ask Him is "How can my life fit into Your will?" God has a grand scheme, a plan for His Kingdom, that is so much greater than our singular existence and yet it is difficult for most of us to ask the bigger question when all we can see is the one path we walk, forgetting that our one path is just a dot on the grand tapestry of human existence. For many, the weight of the question centers on "my life" when, if that part of the question is eliminated, what is left is "What is God's will?" And this was a truth that Jesus well understood.

No one on Earth has had the level of intimacy with the Father that Jesus enjoyed. And with Christ as our model, we, too, are taught to pursue an intimate, personal relationship with the God of the universe. In doing that, it becomes easy to forget that my ministry, my church, my hopes and dreams are not to be considered as the central theme. Jesus understood this. He was here to ONLY do the Father's will. He pulled away frequently to get His Father's perspective and direction and His existence revolved around that and that alone. It is His great plan and His ministry and His work that are the center and it is our role as daughters and sons to stay close to His heart and thus hear Him when He calls for us to "go here" or "stay there" or "do this" or (and this is the hardest) "wait." Still, so many labor in their fields of ministry, asking God to bless their efforts, and never even notice when God has moved on and is no longer at work among them.

It is better to think of life like a mobile that hangs over a child's crib. God is at the center and we are to be positioned by Him wherever He sees fit to place us for His Kingdom purpose and then revolve around His great purpose and just enjoy the nearness of our God, doing only what He asks us to do. If we are to change our placement, that is His doing and He has every right to put us wherever He wishes in order to accomplish His will. It always goes back to His will, His plan and His purposes. What is at the center of your existence? Is it your life or His? Is it your ministry or His? Remember it is never too late for a mid-course correction.

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A Small World After All

We had a great time of ministry in Florida last week and during some down time on one of the days, we took our boys to Disney World and a few other Disney parks (it was a long day!). And as much as I love roller coasters, I love seeing old friends even more. We were just heading past Cinderella's Castle when I spotted two former students(back in the day when we were youth pastors) and their baby daughter heading our way...it really IS a small world after all!!! This is Charlie and Miki Chastain and their sweet daughter, Isabel. They are missionaries to Russia with the Mission Society and you can check out who they are and what they do here.

Aside from the fact that this is not a flattering picture of me (it IS still all about me, right?) I was so excited to see old friends and snap a photo that means so much to me. Charlie is also an amazing guitarist and was the earliest influence on our middle son who is now completely obsessed with guitars. You never do know what fruit will come from the convergence of your path with someone else and I am thankful for what God is doing with Miki and Charlie and for the mark they have made on us. Do pop over to their website...they are living big and making a difference. And that is more breathtaking than Cinderella's Castle!

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The Extravagance of Compassion

I was thinking about compassion yesterday. I remember reading somewhere that the word compassion literally means com (with) passion (suffering). So compassion really isn't about sentimental feelings or pity, but rather it is sharing in the pain. It is suffering with someone. How many of us really want to sign up for that? I struggle with it, wrestle with it even, like with a big alligator that I think might eat me if I let my guard down.

I used to visit a nursing home every Sunday morning for about a year and a half...maybe two years. During that time I got to know some of the men and women who lived there, many of whom had no family, and my heart would just nearly break every time I walked in the place. Every single time. I would sit with some and ask about their children and grandchildren and their deceased spouses. Most were quite philosophical about being near the end of their lives and I was often struck by their quiet acceptance of it. Sometimes the ones who were the most overlooked and neglected by their own relatives were the sweetest and kindest, and they made me feel as if I had given them the world when all I had done was sit with them, look into their eyes and enter into their reality for just a few minutes. And I always thought that, with each visit, it would grow easier to have communion with such deep pain , but it never did.

As a pastor I was accustomed to seeing the hurts of others. It was my job and my great privilege to listen, to roll up my sleeves and get down into the dirt and disappointments of others, to help them when I could and hold them close when I could not. But for me this was a stark, raw suffering that I could scarcely look upon and there was not a single Sunday that I didn't want to turn and run back out to my car and drive away and pretend that no such pain existed. I am not proud of that, but I won't lie about it either. The deep suffering of others is often blinding, suffocating and repelling and it is only when we are in vital union with the One who was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief that we can look upon it, reach out and touch it, and even enter in. To suffer with another is the most extravagant of gifts and not one we can give in and of ourselves.

And then, when my own mother became terminally ill and I could visibly see the life being stripped from her by the ravages of cancer, I stopped going to the nursing home. I had overwhelming suffering now living with me under my own roof and it was more than I could bear to go and watch the dozen or more little ladies and gentlemen that I had grown to love slip away. The loss was too much. And I knew that it was okay. My beautiful friend, Palma, would continue to go and love them up close while I wrapped my arms around the deepest suffering of my very own mother. Such times give us the tiniest glimpse through the eyes of God. We truly could not bear more than the slightest sliver of what He sees. What about you? When have you glimpsed suffering? How did you enter in and how did it change you? I would love to hear your story...

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A Leadership Lesson from a Chef

I was recently pondering the importance of rest in the life of, well anyone, but especially those who lead. Whether you run a business or lead a ministry, an essential to longevity is rest. I was searching the internet using the phrase "the importance of rest" and the top results were from the world of cooking. The importance of resting a pork roast. Not exactly what I was looking for. But I did a little reading on the subject and it was surprisingly enlightening. No, really.

The reason it is important to allow any meat to rest after exposure to the heat of the cooking process is to allow for the redistribution of the juices. During exposure to the intense heat, the juices of the meat gravitate to the center of the meat for preservation purposes and it is caused by the tensing of the muscle fibers. But if you remove the meat from the intense heat and allow it to rest, the muscle fibers relax, thus allowing the juices to flow evenly throughout, rendering a more tender and evenly prepared finished product.

If only we humans could grasp this truth. We spend so much time in the intense heat of leadership, be it running a business, leading a ministry, or really any sort of leadership. And so many leaders find it difficult to pull away from the heat and just rest. Some will even applaud your efforts if you constantly work and resist "idle resting when there is more to be done." This is especially true in church leadership. You work for God...how dare you lie down on the job. Well, God did. He took an entire day and rested from His labors and, while we all know that is true (everyone is familiar with the creation story!), few of us choose to live this way.

And that is why so few people are tender and completely even through and through. We become callous and proud of our accomplishments when the whole of our bodies and, more particularly, our souls are crying out for release. To be tough and rigid often indicates the self-preservation that takes place in the heat of life. But to rest is to become tender and even, offering God the opportunity to have His way with us and actually giving us a more pleasing presentation to others. Others who are hungry and needy. And who are learning from the example we are setting.

What example are you setting? When do you truly rest? Do you separate yourself from your work environment and allow time for your mind to be occupied with things that will tenderize you and "even you out"? Make time regularly to escape the heat and the pressure. Just rest.

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A Little Something Practical

I have always been a big fan of simplicity. Less is more. It works for me and, honestly, I think it would work for anyone who would make the effort to streamline areas of their life. Once the initial streamlining is done then it is easy to live simply. Case in point... your inbox. Even if you are not willing to admit it, clutter is stress-inducing and the clutter in your inbox can become a big stressor. First of all, if you are going to maintain an e-mail address then you should be prompt with your responses to others. Very unprofessional to drag your feet with correspondence. The times when I have been horribly slow responding to others is when my inbox is out of control. Tim Sanders recommends (here) having your own inbox handicap and keeping the number of e-mails in it at or below that number. My handicap is 20 and when it gets over that, I take a few minutes to answer, delete or file what is in there. Very simple, really. Give it a try and see if it doesn't destress an area of your life.

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Church Quest

The search continues for a church home for our family. We had our second Sunday at church "B". Church "A" fell off the radar for a number of reasons, the most important being that we sensed it is not where God wants us. Church "B" has our attention and we are just listening for God's direction. I know that we could choose most any church and God would be fine with it, but I truly do believe in divine appointments with others and we want to connect with the body here in Columbus that will expedite His Kingdom plans.
Even as I write this, I know it sounds religious and I hate that but I don't have an "unreligious" way of expressing these thoughts. It still feels so strange to sit in the congregation and be a "church consumer". I don't want to be that. I want to be "planted" where He desires me and my family to be. A friend of ours who serves on a church staff told us that we are sausage-makers. He said that someone who has ever made sausage will never eat it. They know what goes into it. I see his point, especially now. We have pastored churches and we know what goes into it so we will never be satisfied to just "consume". But I don't want it to be true. And I don't ever want to just consume. I want to always be in the middle of "doing and being" the will of God. His grace has brought us to this point, when we pastored and when we didn't, and He will carry us on.

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What Does Your Headline Say??

Seth Godin had a wonderful blog on Friday about headlines. (I know, when did I have time to read a blog on Friday?  I squeezed in a few important ones.)  And it made me think about what my own "headline" reads.  What message do I advertise to others when they encounter me, especially those who do not already know me.  What one sentence does my life scream to others as representative of me?  I don't mean this to sound narcissistic, but we do make a lasting first impression on those around us and it is worth a few moments of my time to consider what headline screams at others from the front page of my life.  Does it say something positive that would make others want to read further?  Is there depth and substance and something other than self?  Is the fragrance of God wafting from the front pages of my life enough that the casual passer-by is compelled to take a closer look?  Just some questions to consider.  Have a lovely Monday!

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Good to Great-Gretzky Style

It is my sincere desire to be a woman upon whom God can depend to be "tuned in" to what He is saying and where He is heading.  In Genesis 41, Joseph was listening to God and perceiving what He was saying to His people at that time.  His keen perception of God's plan for upcoming events informed the leadership of a nation and people were spared from starvation.  

Jesus was the greatest perceiver of the heart of God (since He was pretty tight in the Trinity) and in John chapter 6  He "perceives that they were intending to come and take Him by force to make Him king so He withdrew again to the mountain by Himself alone."   His actions were determined by the way in which God led Him, knowing, at least in part, what was just up ahead.  

It is those times in my life when I feel hopelessly out of step with where He is headed that I feel the most frustration.  I know the Word says that we see in part and know in part (1 Cor 13) but there are clear Biblical examples of those who were great players because they were playing where the puck was going to be.  I want to live as Joseph lived- listening, believing and speaking boldly, anticipating where God is going to be and thus making a difference to a generation.

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Are There Women In Your Posse??

Many pastors place only men on the leadership teams of their churches, particularly if they will wear the title of elder or deacon.  These leaders boldly declare that Jesus did not place women in such positions of leadership and they are only following His example.  So, did Jesus have women in His posse?  I am so glad you asked!

In the book of Luke, chapter 8, verses 1-3 we see that, in addition to the twelve disciples, Jesus also had several women in his entourage; Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Susanna and then some others who were lending financial support to His ministry.  This, in itself, is monumental as Jewish rabbis in that time did not have anything to do with women, much less teach them, as their tradition stated that women were immoral, stupid and basically evil.  Jesus was so "cutting- edge" to allow Mary of Bethany to sit at his feet and be taught by Him (Luke 10:38-42).  Not only that but He praised her for it.  If we are to use the argument that the twelve disciples were the exclusive pattern, then male Gentiles would be ineligible for leadership in the church because the original twelve were all Jewish.  It was only a few years after Pentecost that there were Gentile leaders in the church and also a Roman woman by the name of Junia (Romans 16:7).  

The women in Jesus day knew that He was unlike any other religious leader.  He sat in public and had a theological discussion with the woman at the well (John 4) and He healed a woman in public, calling her a "daughter of Abraham" (Luke 13:16).  No church leader had ever done that!  No, the women around Him knew that He was different from the unadulterated chauvinism to which they had been subjected.  And the women of today can know this, too.  He has set us free to know Him intimately and to make Him known, leading in whatever capacity He so chooses in His church.  I will address some of these "other capacities" in future posts....

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Get Paid For Your Passion

I think I have already mentioned that I have been reading Seth Godin's most recent book, Tribes, and it is really speaking to me where I am.  One sentence in particular grabbed my attention.  Seth says,

 "Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from."  

  Godin asserts that the people who love what they do and are eager to get to work each day are people who are affecting change in their sphere of influence.  'They challenge the status quo and push something forward-something they believe in.  They lead."  Many people get up each day and head to jobs where they are working to help someone else accomplish their hopes/dreams/goals.  How many of us are getting paid to "do" the desire of our own heart?  

One of the things I love to do when I get the opportunity to speak to a group of leaders is encourage them to allow the desires of their heart to be resurrected that they might begin living from the overflow of those dreams and desires.  Most folks are taught to get a good job with great benefits and retirement.  I am telling people to make smart financial decisions but live your dreams.  If you are college age or younger, get in touch with your heart and discover what keeps you up at night, where your passion is.  Then figure out how to get paid to do that.  It may take some time and require paying a few dues, but you really can live, and get paid for, the passion in your heart.  If you are further along in life, but disappointed with where you are, it is NOT too late to get paid for your passion.  You just have to take that first step.

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Hope, Nests and Reggae

This time last year I posted a blog about nests. I wrote about my dying mother and the disappointment I was walking through at that time. Today I discovered another nest outside of our kitchen window and I was struck by the timing. I was telling a friend over lunch today that I am finally feeling like myself again and that, although I still have waves of grief wash over me (and I probably always will from time to time), I feel happy again and hopeful. I love life and I always have. Even when the road is difficult, I find this gift of life irresistible and I am profoundly thankful for it. So here I am, a year after the creation of the last nest, watching new life right outside my window. Hopefully these eggs will be left alone (hateful squirrels!) and I will get to see them hatch as my heart begins to feel life again. God has been "incubating" some dreams in a deep place in my heart and I am excited to watch and see what He will do and when He will bring it forth. I know it will be soon because you just know these things.
In two days Eddie and I head to Jamaica for a wedding and as I get to look out at the green blue of the Caribbean with the sound of reggae music in my ears, I will be thanking God for hope and life and new things being birthed in His time.

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The Midnight Hour

Yep, I am squeaking in at the midnight hour...trying to get a post in during the month of June. I cannot tell you how busy this month has been for us. We have traveled all over Florida and Georgia, speaking and ministering other places, or doing weddings. 'Tis the season to tie the knot! But oh how fun it is to load up and go and live this great adventure! In about ten days, we are heading to Jamaica to do another wedding for Kristen, a former student of ours...oh the things we suffer for the sake of the Gospel! I have to say that, as much as I love weddings, I am especially looking forward to standing, looking out over the Caribbean at sunset, and seeing my girl Kristen marry the love of her life. What a blessed and privileged woman I am! Maybe there will be more time to actually write about it all this next month!

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Monday's Ambition

Mondays are hard days for pastors. That is the day that the enemy makes his weekly rounds and speaks doubt, defeat and discouragement to those who lead God's church. We all know that satan is a liar, but unless you have walked in the shoes of a pastor, it is unlikely that you would truly understand the strength of the attack that hits pastors on Sunday evening and Monday. I want to remind all of my co-laborers out there that there is an antidote for the toxic lies with which the devil seeks to infect you. It is found in 2Cor 5:9, "Therefore also we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him."

So many pastors are easily caught up in the business of leading a church and forget that the measure of their success is not found there. Search high and low through the record of ministry achievements and it cannot be found. The measure of a pastor's success is found in the prayer closet. Oswald Chambers said it best, "the master ambition...means holding one's self to the high ideal year in and year out, not being ambitious to win souls or to establish churches or to have revivals, but being ambitious only to be 'accepted of Him'. " Oswald goes on to say that Paul did not heed the approval of the audience if he could catch the look of approval from his Master.

This is what matters on Sunday and Monday...that we are close to Him, entwined daily with Him in the intimate dance of hidden fellowship. If we allow anything else to become our measure of success, then we embrace carnality and we grieve the heart of our Father. How are you this Monday? Measure what matters most, which is the distance that exists between you and God. I pray that there is no distance, that you are breathing in the unfathomable treasures that He breathes out.

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