Kool-Aid Faith

Remember the commercials with the giant pitcher of Kool-aid that would come crashing through the walls, freaking out several generations of children? The kids in the commercial would become aware of their burning thirst that only Kool-Aid would quench and then they would call out "Hey Kool-Aid!!!!". And then the huge, red pitcher would come bursting onto the scene. I think every kid must have wondered if a giant pitcher stayed poised behind every wall just waiting to be called.
For some odd reason I was thinking about that when I was having my quiet time with God yesterday. Most of my life I have had that Kool-Aid faith where, after becoming aware of my "thirst", I would call out to God and then TOTALLY EXPECT Him to come running through the wall of obstacles in my life and bring whatever it is I need. Isaiah 30: 18, 19 says, "Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and He waits on high to have compassion on you. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you."
And yet at times I find myself fighting negative expectations as I sit, leaning against the wall of the latest obstacle, too discouraged to even cry out to Him. And I am ashamed. He "waits on high to have compassion on me." He "longs to be gracious to me". It is incomprehensible that God waits and longs for me. And you. And I want to never forget that. Ever.