If You've Never Failed...

You've Never Lived!

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Sticks and Stones

I'm not trying to wear out the MJ thing but....

I read recently that, growing up, Michael Jackson was teased a great deal by his father and that he was reported to have said to his son, "God, your nose is big!" In a 2003 documentary, Michael was reported to have said that when performing he would have been happier wearing a mask. Nothing done to a person in childhood excuses adult behaviors and choices, but we often forget what careless words said to a child can do and the lasting effects of those words.

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Two Things a Leader MUST Have

My mind is a circus of thoughts today. I read of the recent moral failure of a prominent church planter/pastor/blogger, Gary Lamb, today. His five-year-old church plant, Revolution Church, is in Canton, Georgia in the Atlanta area and you can read about his recent resignation here. Why am I bringing attention to yet another blight on the American church? I am glad you asked.

Next to nurturing an intimate relationship with God, my greatest desire as a minister of the Gospel is to live a life of integrity. This desire is not so that I will be shiny and and stainless and admired, but so that my life will garner little attention and He will get it all. I have no doubt that Gary Lamb had similar desires when he set out to plant Revolution Church. The reality is that not one person on the planet is above the temptation of sexual sin or the sin of pride or any other sin for that matter. We will all fight temptation until we draw our last breath. And those who do think they are immune to such things are in the greatest danger. The only difference between a leader who falls and a leader who does not are boundaries and accountability.

Leader, if you remember nothing else I have written here these past two years, please remember this: you are only as safe from sin as the boundaries you set for yourself and the accountability that keeps you within them. To give you an example, I will share with you some of the boundaries that my husband and I have set for ourselves.

-We never, under any circumstances, allow ourselves to be alone with anyone of the opposite sex. Period.

-If anyone of the opposite sex behaves inappropriately with either of us, we quickly alert the other of the situation and handle it immediately.

-We never counsel someone of the opposite sex alone. We always have someone else sit in or we counsel that person together.

-We are very vocal about our marriage relationship and we publicly affirm that relationship so others see that we are knitted together and will not be an easy target.

-We nurture intimate relationships with close friends and mentors who know where we are in our walks with God...not just our ministry. Many leaders in the church talk freely about their ministries and say very little about their intimacy with Jesus. Open doors and open hearts are much safer.

-When we are struggling with anything, we get help. You cannot wrestle temptation alone. Run, don't walk, to your mentors or co-laborers and get help.

-We prioritize our lives. Ministry responsibilities MUST come after your marriage and then your family time. If you win your entire city for Christ but your children are neglected and hurting and your spouse is a stranger to you, you are a dismal failure.

Please let me clarify. I am writing this NOT to judge a fallen minister, but rather to expose the desperate need in the body of Christ for boundaries and accountability. I do not write these things because I am immune to sin, but rather because I know that I am wretched flesh and, if left to my own devices, I will sin . And so will you. Examine your life and ministry. Shore up the integrity of your own life and ministry by putting careful boundaries in place and then insure these boundaries with faithful people who will love you enough to correct you.

Your life depends on it. And if you lead, so do the lives of so many others.

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Beautiful Desolation

John 20:29 "...blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed."

I became a Christian in 1983 at the age of fifteen. I am a strong personality with very definite opinions that I have to bite my tongue at times not to share. I saw God change my life in such an amazing way that it NEVER crossed my mind to doubt Him. Ever. Until recently.

I have struggled with my beliefs in the past six months in a way I have never before known. And it has rocked me to my very foundation. I have made poor choices in the past and then had the unpleasant experience of living with the consequences of those choices, but I can deal with that. It is an expected life equation. In recent months, however, I have realized that God has brought me, by His own Hand, down a road that is unexpectedly desolate and I have been left questioning the very bedrock of my previously unyielding faith. My forty years of life have never been a cakewalk...there has been much disappointment and heartache and I have learned to befriend failure rather than resist it. There is much to be learned at that great destination called "the end of yourself". But this...well, this is different.

The odd thing about all of this is that He has guided me to, and then through, great pools of difficulty in the past, but this time is different because I am also at a place in my own soul of great burnout. Having soldiered through four remarkably painful tornadoes in recent years, I failed to take note of the effect of those cyclones on my heart and soul and then take appropriate measures to see myself through the necessary healing and restoration. And so now I am in a helicopter of His design, being given a birds eye view of the damages. No one enjoys pictures of the landscape after the storm rips through because it leaves you feeling, well, helpless. Exactly.

The other ugly truth is that I have been more loyal to my notions of Him than I have been to who He really is. I have been serving the American God who takes care of my every practical need and fills me with such great joy and who keeps me from all the pain and anguish that others around the globe live in daily. But that is rather like looking at a the Grand Canyon through a pinhole and thinking you have beheld it's beauty and immensity.

It is times like these that I wish like anything that I were an opaque work of art on His pottery wheel rather than the transparent window that I am by His design. I want to run away and hide so others cannot see what I am seeing inside of myself because to my eyes it is offensive and humiliating. In truth it is a thing of beauty that has not yet taken shape and He loves for others to look on as He works His miracles. So I thought I would let you have a look at what He is creating out of my own desolation.

And thank you for taking the time to stop by.

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A Little Known Fact...

Did you know......that you can rip off the top part of your Razor flip phone and it will still receive incoming calls?  You will not know who is calling nor will you hear the caller, but you can shout word fragments into the phone as if the caller were deaf and they will be able to hear you and perhaps even laugh at you.  Just ask my friend, Sharon.  It is freakish and strange, sort of like when you cut the head off of a snake and it still slithers through the grass as if nothing has happened.

As I considered this, I had an epiphany.   When my screen goes blank and I cannot hear the voice of God, when it seems that He has changed His digits without sharing them with me...He still hears me.  He still hears me.  It is so very comforting to know that He still hears me.  And He still hears you.  It doesn't matter how things appear or what is missing or even if damage has been done.  He still hears us.   For all of time, He has been waiting to just hear each of us call His name.  And His "to-do list" for us is so simple.  Hosea 6:6 "I don't want your sacrifices; I want your love.  I don't want your offerings; I want you to know Me."  To know Him and to be known...that is life's greatest ambition and, oddly enough, a little known fact.

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Twenty-Four Hours In The Pit of Despair

Have you ever allowed yourself to mentally descend to the lowest place possible?  Have you ever given in to despairing thoughts and let all of the hope that usually wraps up your every day just go right down the toilet?  The past twenty-four hours have been that for me.  I don't even understand quite how it happens and so yesterday afternoon, when I found myself alone for a few hours, I gave myself a good talking to and reminded my heart that God WILL do what He said He would do. Regardless of how circumstances appear, He hasn't brought me to this place in my life to leave me and forsake me or the dreams that He has promised would come to pass.  If you are struggling with hopelessness or despair, I pray that you would find courage and hope in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and  hope."  I send this encouragement out to you, not from a high and lofty place of having it all together, but rather from the dusty road of pain and doubt and learning to live in the moment.  I am really glad that I am not all alone on this journey....love you, my bloggy friends!

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The "F" Word

“Oh, no she didn’t!!” No, actually, I am speaking of failure. Over the years I have come to regard failure as a friend…a friend and an excellent teacher. So many fear failure and view it as the “scarlet letter” that marks them for life. On the contrary, failure can prepare you and equip you for life, but only if you allow it to do so. We should always play to win, but when we do lose, we can learn from it and let it strengthen the fiber of who we are. Are you afraid of failure today…has it gripped you and caused you to stop moving forward? . The only people who never fail are the ones who do nothing. Take off on a run, friend, and don’t look back.

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