A Simple Truth

I have recently been feeding on a truth that I once learned in a 1994 Henry Blackaby Bible Study called "Experiencing God." One of Blackaby's key points is to "watch to see where God is working and join Him." It seems a simple truth but one that many people fail to remember. We are by nature self-centered so it is only natural to ask, "What is God's will for my life?" The better question to ask Him is "How can my life fit into Your will?" God has a grand scheme, a plan for His Kingdom, that is so much greater than our singular existence and yet it is difficult for most of us to ask the bigger question when all we can see is the one path we walk, forgetting that our one path is just a dot on the grand tapestry of human existence. For many, the weight of the question centers on "my life" when, if that part of the question is eliminated, what is left is "What is God's will?" And this was a truth that Jesus well understood.

No one on Earth has had the level of intimacy with the Father that Jesus enjoyed. And with Christ as our model, we, too, are taught to pursue an intimate, personal relationship with the God of the universe. In doing that, it becomes easy to forget that my ministry, my church, my hopes and dreams are not to be considered as the central theme. Jesus understood this. He was here to ONLY do the Father's will. He pulled away frequently to get His Father's perspective and direction and His existence revolved around that and that alone. It is His great plan and His ministry and His work that are the center and it is our role as daughters and sons to stay close to His heart and thus hear Him when He calls for us to "go here" or "stay there" or "do this" or (and this is the hardest) "wait." Still, so many labor in their fields of ministry, asking God to bless their efforts, and never even notice when God has moved on and is no longer at work among them.

It is better to think of life like a mobile that hangs over a child's crib. God is at the center and we are to be positioned by Him wherever He sees fit to place us for His Kingdom purpose and then revolve around His great purpose and just enjoy the nearness of our God, doing only what He asks us to do. If we are to change our placement, that is His doing and He has every right to put us wherever He wishes in order to accomplish His will. It always goes back to His will, His plan and His purposes. What is at the center of your existence? Is it your life or His? Is it your ministry or His? Remember it is never too late for a mid-course correction.

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Are You A Family On Purpose?

I have spent the past week on my couch watching movies and trying to get well. I cuddled up with my youngest son yesterday and we watched "National Treasure 2-Book of Secrets." The second "National Treasure" flick was about finding another enormous treasure but it was also about clearing the Gates family name after false accusations threatened to ruin it. I love both of these movies because of the rich history and the love of country. And I also love Ben Gates' determination to preserve the good reputation of his family's name.

In my family, we have taught our three sons that wherever they go and whatever they do, they do not just represent themselves. They also represent the Taylor family, and our God whose name we all wear. One way we have made that concept more tangible is by developing a family purpose statement which we have posted on the wall in our family room. It is crucial to establish a family identity while your children are young so that as they grow up and other people become increasingly more influential in their lives, they have something to fall back on. A strong family identity gives kids a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves and also a sense of stability. If we are going to have a purpose statement in our business plans, in our governments, and for our churches, how much more important is clearly laying out who you are as a family and why you exist as a unit? What about your family? Who are you and what do you stand for? If we don't give our kids a sense of purpose, someone else will.

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Grab Hold of Your Jackass and Don't Let Go

Two of the Gospel accounts have Jesus coming into Jerusalem for His triumphal entry riding a donkey and the other two have Him riding a colt. Choose your gospel account and choose your beast of burden, the lesson to be learned from His vehicle of choice is complete and utter humility.

Matt 20:28 "...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

This verse displays the very essence of who Jesus was and is and who we, in turn, should strive to be. Servant. Plain and simple. Sadly, many men and women come into places of leadership in the church and then completely forget this verse of Scripture. I have observed a strange culture that has insidiously crept into the church, one that places the leaders in the church on high and exalted pedestals. These pedestals take on the appearance of preferred parking spots, attention to every personal need in a diva-like fashion, and regular verbal accolades from followers that can only serve to envelope the leader in a dense cloud of pride and arrogance. God, help Your church, Your bride!

Church leader, you MUST cast off this "rock star" mindset of leadership that looks NOTHING like the model of servant-leadership clearly demonstrated in every breath Jesus Christ took on this earth. Leaders in the church must model lifestyles of humility and servanthood if we ever expect to see such behavior in the church as a whole. You teach what you know but you reproduce who you are.

Abraham Lincoln once said, "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." It is a naked truth. Give a human being power, position or applause, and you will see what he or she is made of. Unless the glory is thrown back at the feet of Jesus, we will wrap ourselves up in it and marvel at how soft and comfortable it feels to the touch. But garments of glory were never intended for human flesh and it is our responsibility to refuse them.

Purpose to live in humility. Crucify your flesh every time it rears its' ugly head. Grab hold of selflessness, with your gaze locked on His face, and refuse to live any other way. It is the key to intimacy with the Father and thus, the key to true, Biblical leadership. Grab hold of your jackass and don't let go!

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Social Media: How Much Is Too Much?

Our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in "muchness" and "manyness," he will rest satisfied. --Richard Foster

We live in an era earmarked by the most astounding technological advancements of all time. The winds of change in this arena over the past three decades have been nothing short of a whirlwind. What is most remarkable about all of this change and development is the sense of connection to others it has brought us. And while our ability to click a button and connect with one another across the globe through various social media most certainly has its merits, there are pitfalls that should and must be considered.

As wondrous as Facebook, Twitter and iPhones are, it is imperative that we do not allow the "noise" of these portals of community to drown out the quiet voice of our own souls and the solitude that the soul craves. Richard Foster wrote about the importance of solitude in his book "Celebration of Discipline", and it is a practice that we are in danger of losing in our hyper-connected world. We used to have quiet moments to think, reflect and still ourselves throughout the day; waiting for our dining companion in a restaurant, in the carpool line at your child's school, in the library, at the dentist office, in traffic, sitting in a coffee shop, or even while using the bathroom! But now we can Twitter, Facebook, read blogs, check e-mail or talk on the phone anytime, anywhere. Does everyone really need to know what you are doing all day every day? Could it be that we miss out on some "living" when we spend so much time "reporting" on our lives?

Please do not read into this that I am against any of these things. I do, however, think we must be very careful to control the place that these "connections" have in our lives. Silence, solitude and quiet thought is essential to our well-being, to our growth and health as Christians and as human beings.

So, ask yourself-
Are you more "connected" than you should be? When was the last time you connected with....you?


"I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up." -Pearl S. Buck

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Making Room For Creativity-Part 4

If you are just tuning in here, we are wrapping up a series of posts on creativity and the importance of creating space in your busy life for those juices to flow. To catch up with where we are, you can click here, here, and here.

Now that you have taken control of your schedule and trimmed away the excess that was crowding your time, what is next? I'm glad you asked. Now you can allow yourself the luxury of moving about in the new "space" you have created in your days and weeks. Obviously you cannot "schedule" creative flow or determine when an inspiration will come, but it is very important to allow regular times of uncluttered freedom to explore the creative recesses of your heart. As a writer, I cannot just wait for a moment of "creative inspiration" to hit me. I have set aside regular times to just write regardless of how I feel. And it has been through this routine of being faithful to exercise my gift that I have found the sweetest inspirations. The regularity of it has proven to be a catalyst for creativity. Then, when an idea for a writing piece hits me at an inopportune moment, it is second nature to just grab that notebook I have with me at all times, and jot down my ideas and thoughts so that I can revisit this place when I have another pocket of time.

I do not have a long list of creative gifts, but many people do, so how does that highly gifted person choose where to devote this time? The answer can be found within your own heart. Where does your heart pause when it wanders through your field of deep desires? What things do you find your thoughts fixating on in moments of unrestricted mental wandering? Erwin McManus says that "When you are passionate about God, you can trust your passions." Don't be afraid to follow your heart. Because He fashioned it, what is in there is often where He wants you to invest your time and energies. In following your passions you may find that God will open doors of opportunity that you never believed possible.

I have a friend, Clay Miller, who is very gifted in video production and God recently opened a door for him to do it full time. Clay made room for that creative gift in his life and then God made a way for him to make it a career. How great to do what you love and get paid for it!

The most important thing is to make room in your life and then don't look back! Do not give guilt an audience in your life. When God is ordering your steps, you can give yourself to creativity with complete abandon and you can know that, in your most creative moments, you are reflecting the very image of the Creator God! Now don't just talk about it, be about it!

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Making Room For Creativity-Part 3

If you are popping in here in the middle of this series of posts on creativity, feel free to go here and here to catch up on parts one and two of making room in your busy life for your creative gifts. Today we are talking about what to do after you have decided to prioritize creative moments and you have made your inventory of what is and is not truly important for you in this season of your life.

Now, take that list of things you do that God never called you to do but you assigned yourself to do anyway, and begin the process of eliminating them from your schedule. Please, pick yourself up off of the floor and breathe into a paper bag if you need to. You are not going to die and neither are the people that you are afraid of disappointing. Instead let this reality sink in...if you are devoting yourself to tasks that God never called you to, you are setting yourself up for burnout and believe me, people, that is not a pretty sight. Creativity aside, streamlining your life is something that every person will benefit from because overcommitting yourself is slow suicide. Wouldn't you rather disappoint a few people than disappoint God by doing it your way rather than His way? Next, pick up the phone, write that letter, or have a sit down with the people you need to meet with to gracefully withdraw from the excess in your life. Go do this now. I will wait. I said GO!!!

Now, don't you feel better? What? You feel guilty? Ignore it...just like big hair and parachute pants in the '80s, it will pass.

Tomorrow is Friday and, as always, I will post my random and occasionally disturbing thoughts. It is a low-cal, fat-free, yet tasty little treat. I will wrap up this series of creativity posts on Monday. I just hope you can contain yourselves until then. And thanks for being here with me. I heart you.

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Making Room For Creativity-Part 2

We have been talking about creativity and finding some room in your life to just be you--the wildly or mildly creative creature that you were made to be. I find that allowing times to create does for my soul what exercise does for my body. Afterward, I feel a sense of peace and calm and I know that I am healthier for it.

Sooooo, where should you start?? The first thing to do is take an inventory of your life and the things to which you are currently devoting your time. Take a good, hard look at the things, people, or activities that are currently earning a spot on your calendar and one by one decide which ones are non negotiable and which ones can be evaluated further. The trick with this type of exercise is allowing yourself to consider the possibility of saying "no" to things that are either unfruitful, or which completely drain you. If you are someone who has a difficult time saying no, then this will be especially difficult for you, but do it anyway. This is not about being selfish, it is about being balanced.

Now, take the list of negotiable activities and decide what can be eliminated from your schedule. When I do this, I take my list and put it before God and I ask Him what He would have me do. One of the most precious commodities we have is our time and it really takes the pressure off to let Him direct our steps in this process. Since He encompasses all of time, He is most certainly able to lead you as you prioritze yours. It is helpful to remind yourself that Jesus was not motivated by human need but by the voice of His Father. During His time on the earth, He did only those things that God directed Him to do and nothing more. Why should our lives be any different? You need to get clear with God about what He is telling you to do and do only those things. Nothing more.

Let's sum up....inventory your current commitments, decide what is non negotiable, get with God and decide what things you have on your plate that God never told you to put there. Now, get back here tomorrow and find out what is next! Are we having fun yet??

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Hungry for Him

So, here we are at the beginning of Lent. Ash Wednesday was yesterday and I am sure many of you are fasting or have given up something for the next fortyish days or so. I have read a few things here and there about what people are giving up for Lent or if they see any merit at all in this practice and I have totally enjoyed hearing so many points of view on the subject. And because I am me, I, too, have an opinion and I thought I would share it.

I fast at different times throughout the year as a discipline because Jesus didn't say in his teachings, "IF you fast", but rather, "WHEN you fast". (Matt 6:16) I am not trying to sound all holy here...I hate fasting food and I have to make myself do it. But when I do, it brings a lot of junk to the surface of my life and then He can deal with me about those things. I think of it more like choosing to sit on the front row in a classroom. I am positioning myself to better hear His voice. So then when I crave food (pretty much all the time), I can immediately shift my focus to Him rather than fulfilling a fleshly urge. It is my understanding that the original intent for fasting food for Lent was because food preparation back then was very time-consuming so the idea was to devote that time to feeding your soul rather than your flesh. Again, positioning yourself to hear His voice. I don't believe it can ever be viewed as sacrifice, for what "sacrifice" could we ever give that compares with His great sacrifice. And He tells us in scripture that He does not want our sacrifices...He wants US. (Hos 6:6) No, it is about nearness to Him. It should always come back to nearness to Him.

My friends, if you are fasting for Lent or not, I hope and pray that you will consider making the discipline of fasting a part of your love life with God that happens more than once a year. Put yourself on the front row as often as possible and drink it in.

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Soul Speak

You and I are innately designed to create. All of the beauty that surrounds us, but that we often take for granted was made by the God of the universe who also must create because it is His very nature to do so. And because we are His very image, it is also our nature to create. I have always had a personal theory that the people who are the most frustrated with their lives are so because they are not creating. Creativity comes in a million different packages and when the creative gifts we have been given remain unopened we can be nothing but frustrated and miserable because we are living in opposition to our very nature.

For years I shelved my own gift because I let myself believe there was no room for it in my life. Part of me felt dead and I found myself resenting what I had to do because I let it crowd out what I desired to do. A friend of mine a few years back challenged me to make room in my life for my writing and then guard it. She said that if I would set aside even a small amount of time to begin with, it would make all the difference. And so it has. And I have found myself again. Sue Monk Kidd says that creativity is "a conversation between my soul and me." The heartache comes when you and your soul are not on speaking terms. Have you heard from your soul lately? It is speaking to you if you will make time to listen. And if you are not intentional about it, it will never happen. Go ahead. Get reacquainted. It could very well change the course of your life.

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Nights of the Round Table

Last night we called yet another family meeting. In our home, when things aren't clicking along the way they should, we sit down together, we look each other in the eyes and we talk. True, meaningful communication rarely happens by accident and we have tried to be intentional in our family about fostering openness and honesty. It goes without saying that, because we have three sons (two of them teenagers), our family meetings sometimes get, well, silly. But for the most part we are able to deal with hurtful behaviors and attitudes that sometimes creep in and threaten our peace. Our ground rules are simple: complete honesty, absolute respect, and what is said in the family meeting, stays in the family meeting. Each person can express what they think and how they feel and then we deal with it...nothing is minimized or swept under the rug. And the best thing is that usually, when the tough issues are dealt with, we end up laughing or talking about other things that we might not have talked about otherwise. And each of us leaves knowing that, even if no one else on the planet cares what we think or how we feel, there are four other people who do. And we will always work to keep that.

Adults who are capable of healthy communication do not grow on trees. They are best grown around your kitchen table. If you have never led your family into this type of interaction, why not start now? If you and your spouse do not have this type of open communication, then you will need to start there. You cannot lead your children where you have never been. It's not too late. It is never too late to unlock the hearts of your spouse and your children and let them know that you are listening.

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A Leadership Lesson from a Chef

I was recently pondering the importance of rest in the life of, well anyone, but especially those who lead. Whether you run a business or lead a ministry, an essential to longevity is rest. I was searching the internet using the phrase "the importance of rest" and the top results were from the world of cooking. The importance of resting a pork roast. Not exactly what I was looking for. But I did a little reading on the subject and it was surprisingly enlightening. No, really.

The reason it is important to allow any meat to rest after exposure to the heat of the cooking process is to allow for the redistribution of the juices. During exposure to the intense heat, the juices of the meat gravitate to the center of the meat for preservation purposes and it is caused by the tensing of the muscle fibers. But if you remove the meat from the intense heat and allow it to rest, the muscle fibers relax, thus allowing the juices to flow evenly throughout, rendering a more tender and evenly prepared finished product.

If only we humans could grasp this truth. We spend so much time in the intense heat of leadership, be it running a business, leading a ministry, or really any sort of leadership. And so many leaders find it difficult to pull away from the heat and just rest. Some will even applaud your efforts if you constantly work and resist "idle resting when there is more to be done." This is especially true in church leadership. You work for God...how dare you lie down on the job. Well, God did. He took an entire day and rested from His labors and, while we all know that is true (everyone is familiar with the creation story!), few of us choose to live this way.

And that is why so few people are tender and completely even through and through. We become callous and proud of our accomplishments when the whole of our bodies and, more particularly, our souls are crying out for release. To be tough and rigid often indicates the self-preservation that takes place in the heat of life. But to rest is to become tender and even, offering God the opportunity to have His way with us and actually giving us a more pleasing presentation to others. Others who are hungry and needy. And who are learning from the example we are setting.

What example are you setting? When do you truly rest? Do you separate yourself from your work environment and allow time for your mind to be occupied with things that will tenderize you and "even you out"? Make time regularly to escape the heat and the pressure. Just rest.

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You Show Me Yours...I'll Show You Mine

When I was six I actually played this game with a little boy in the neighborhood. It was his idea. I agreed and told him to go first, which he did, and then when it was my turn, I turned and ran all the way home. Moral of the story...never go first when a very smart six-year-old girl is involved.

I do have a point.

I think few of us realize how very little in our lives is ours to show. Obviously (see example above) our bodies are ours but even those we don't get to keep forever and frankly, the older I get the more thankful I am for that reality. I digress. We all have what we consider to be ours; jobs, hopes and dreams, relationships, ministries. And when something or someone interferes with these things, we become possessed by huge demons and we manifest all over the place. Okay, not really. But we are all territorial to some degree and when our expectations are disappointed, we find it impossible to believe it might possibly just be the hand of God at work. Every single thing we accomplish or hope to accomplish is His. What right do we really have to force God's hand? Disappointments are often His leadership in our lives and , when embraced, can become the pathway to the "exceedingly, abundantly above all you can think or ask." (Eph 3:20) But the death of that "thing" that you worked so hard for or that you still believe can happen often results in the death of other things as well. Like your flesh. And the pride you have in that "thing". That "thing" is really not yours to show. It has always been His. Letting go is the right thing to do. And it is the hardest thing to do.

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Contagious Generosity

Tim Sanders blog yesterday on giving was inspiring.  I have always enjoyed his teaching on the abundance mentality versus the scarcity mentality.  You can read more about this in his book, Love Is the Killer App...a truly worthwhile read on business but its lessons go far beyond the business world.

Anyway, my husband and I have always enjoyed giving to others, most especially secret giving.  I really should have been Santa Claus for the big kick I get out of giving.  We heard a teaching on giving many years ago that taught us to sow into fields where we ourselves have need.  When we were striving to pay off student loans and our little amount was not enough, we would sow what we had into someone else who was struggling to do the same.  "If it's not enough to meet the need, consider it seed."  Great axiom to live by.

As I talked yesterday about running from the "doom and gloom" discouragement that is all around us, I can think of no better way to dispel such a cloud than by contagious generosity.  Give money to someone who needs it, speak life to someone who is down to their last hope, offer practical service to a person who has nowhere to turn for the meeting of a need.  Contagious generosity.  It works.  And the residue of hope it leaves in your own life is beautiful indeed.

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Should It Stay Or Should It Go???

I am moving soon.  To a much smaller abode.  As we await the sale of our spacious home in Florida we will be living in a cozy (and by cozy I mean really small) rental in Georgia and so now comes the task of deciding what to take and what to leave.  The thing about stuff is that we get so attached to some stuff and other stuff we don't even realize we have until we open a cabinet or move something out of the way and discover some useless pile of junk that we have had for who knows how long.  "Whose idea was it to buy this??" "What possessed me to keep that??"  "What IS this thing, anyway?"

I am considering throwing out much of what we don't find necessary to take with us.  But some things that I will leave here for now, like my grandmother's jello molds and my mother's high school annuals, well, those are keepers.  Call me sentimental...I totally am.  Those jello molds and annuals and old black and white photos, even the big jar of buttons from so many outfits my grandmother wore, are my connection to something that has become intangible.  They help me to touch what no longer is and therefore feed my soul.  The broken food processor, the now-out-of- style Birkenstocks and the snaggle-toothed rake?  Yardsale fodder.  But all those yesterdays wrapped up in the playing cards that my grandmother used for her "Wednesday Afternoon Bridge Club that met on Fridays" and that still smell like her?  Yeah, I will be keeping those. 

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The Beauty of Margins

One of my favorite leadership talks to give is that of self-leadership.  You cannot effectively lead others until you are successfully managing yourself.  Of great importance in this arena is building margin into your life.  Margin is the extra time that you may need as you live this gloriously unpredictable life.

Case in point would be my life yesterday morning.  I was gathering my family together so that I could drive my husband to the airport to catch a flight.  We left plenty of margin within our schedule and it was a good thing as our battery was dead-graveyard dead-when my husband tried to start the van.  Time for plan B.  Because of the margin we had built into our schedule, we had plenty of time to go get another battery, install it and still get to the airport, after having a quick lunch, with time to spare.  This is the beauty of margin.  

I was taught early in life by my grandmother that tardiness is the highest form of selfishness because it communicates to others that your time is more important than theirs.  She always told me to allow more time than I thought I would need so as to NEVER keep others waiting.  And this lesson has served me well in life.  The slow traffic, dead batteries and coffee spilled in your lap as you pull out of your driveway can all be handled without costing others if you build margin into your schedules.  Try it this week.  It will bring you great freedom, cost you little, and speak volumes to others.  And if the unexpected doesn't happen, you will have a little extra time to create something beautiful in the margin of your life.

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Chasing Your Tail

Do you find yourself struggling with productivity? Do you chase your tail in circles with no end in sight? Here are just a few helps to get you out of that rut.

-Limit your time with your inbox. Rather than checking e-mail throughout the day and never feeling that job is done, set aside 30 minutes a day in your schedule to read and answer e-mail.
Remember, if you are going to maintain an e-mail address, do others the courtesy of responding to e-mails in a timely manner. To do otherwise is rude and unprofessional.

-Say no. You cannot do it all so choose what is important and say no to everything else. To never say no is to half-do everything. You will never realize true success if you settle for mediocrity.

-Voice mail is your friend. Don't drop the people in front of you to attend to the unknown at the end of the phone. Set aside time slots throughout your day to return missed calls. That person you are having lunch with didn't set aside time in their day to watch you answer your cell phone.

-Leave it at work. Whatever remains undone should be put in line for your attention first thing on the following day. Don't take it home with you. Working constantly doesn't equal efficiency so give your brain some rest at night.

-If you have tried and failed repeatedly at organizing your time, get some outside help. Attend a workshop on time management, find a mentor, read some books on the topic. Don't settle for less than excellence...keep working on being a better you so that you can multiply value in the lives of those in your sphere of influence.

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Simple

Today I was reading a Tim Sanders blog about the amount of paper we waste in America. Sanders has become very earth-conscious and, while I am sure I should be too, I'm just not right now. I am more preoccupied with things like what my three sons are doing with our power tools in the front yard and why one of them is running in to get the camera. I digress. Sanders discussed the extra junk (ads, coupons, legal notices) that is found on the pages we are printing from websites, causing us to waste unnecessary amounts of paper and thus our natural resources. Please forgive me as I wax philosophical for a moment, but I couldn't help thinking of our lives which, like those pages, are so often crowded with extra stuff that means little to us and wastes our personal resources (time, energy, money, did I mention time?). Maybe we should work on shaping our lives into the more "printer-friendly" version, streamlined and focused and clutter-free. I am really trying to do this so that I can live big yet focused, significant yet simple that I might be free from busyness and, ultimately, regret.

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