Jesus and .38 Special

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” --Pericles

The American dream is to own a piece of land to call home and build a life around it, raising a family and acquiring possessions. Nothing wrong with that.

And yet...

when we consider how Jesus lived, His stability was not found in possessions or a house with His name on the mailbox. It was not even found in an untarnished reputation.

It was found in relationships with the ones that He led and ultimately the One that He followed. That is pretty simple.

Things get complicated when we rely on the lives we build for ourselves to fill the void. Equity and assets are very nice but we must remind ourselves to hold on loosely (thank you, .38 Special!). And disappointment is inevitable when we depend on the absence of change to maintain our peace of mind. Some equate stability with unchanging circumstances when really stability comes from unchanging commitment to relationships, first to God and then to those people He puts in our lives.

Starting over, bottoming out and reaching dead ends are not nearly as daunting when we can see and embrace the bittersweet truth of James 4:14, "You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." With that in mind we can focus on our nearness to God and the deposit we make in the lives of others and let everything else fade into the periphery. Where it belongs.

I want to live life like Jesus did...holding on loosely with open arms and an open life.

Read more...

You’re Soaking In It!

Life as I know it has returned to a state of "normal".  I will make no attempts to define "normal", although I usually do enjoy defining the completely subjective because it helps me to bring order to my already cluttered mind.  I am attempting instead to experience moments of life rather than always trying to define them.  As founder and president of the Think Things To Death Society, this is nothing short of miraculous.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yes...
Normal.  We have moved to another state, put most of our worldly possessions in storage and are currently living in someone’s guest home for a loosely determined length of time while we catch our proverbial breath and wait on God to show us what is next.  I'm sorry, did I say normal?  I meant utterly ridiculous but utterly ridiculous is the new normal and so here we are, living on a gorgeous spread of land, complete with horses in surrounding pastures,  swimming pool,  tennis court,  basketball court, workout room, and a beautiful home with every creature comfort possible.  The sheets with the incredibly high thread count are, in my opinion, just the cherry on top.  And if there is a down side to all of this it would only be that there are around a dozen deer and elk heads hanging on the walls in the great room and I swear they stare at me when I play pool in my pajamas.
Oswald Chambers talks about being "put into soak before God".  The innermost life is where the real action is, after all, and there are times when God pulls us away from the shop window, where most church leaders live, to receive, transform, and soften in the quiet solitude of soaking.  I am just amazed at where He has us now and so I will be here, soaking and hopefully transforming.  Softening...like in that Palmolive commercial from the 70's.  It is a good day when you can combine serious spiritual content with nostalgic television commercials.  That's why I am here, people.  That's why I'm here.

Read more...

Back to the Future

Do you remember the pull-back cars that you played with as a kid?


You would pull the car backwards on the floor and then let go to see how far it would go.


The further back you would pull it, the farther it would go.


God does this to us sometimes. It feels as though He is pulling us backwards and, frankly, most of the human race prefers the forward motion of life. I know I do.


But it is this "pulling backward" that sometimes propels us forward into what He has for us.


The important thing to remember when in the midst of this process is that His hand is on you.


And that matters so much more than where you are headed.


Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord; plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Read more...

Dude, You Threw Off My Groove!

I don't know what is going on, but something has definitely thrown off my groove.  You know that feeling you get when you can't quite find normal you and some other foreign, grumpy, out-of-sorts you has taken up residence in your body?  I know, I know...I am weird.  But I am okay with my weirdness.  Part of it is all of the change that has been taking place in my own life and that will just take time to sort itself out.  The great thing about emotions is that they are much like clouds and they just don't hang around for very long.  What do you usually do when you don't feel quite right?

Read more...

Crash & Burn? I Don't Think So!!

I have taken a leave of absence from my favorite news channel.  Or any news channel for that matter.  I have had it with all of the doom and gloom.  I have never been a "stick your head in the sand" kind of girl.  I want to know what is going on and stay informed about what is happening in the world around me, but as of late I am on sabbatical from negative hype and this whole "crash and burn" mentality that is the national media.  

I am in the middle of major life changes...career, church, home...heck we are even changing states. We have chosen the seemingly worst time to change careers, try several new ventures, sell a home and move to a new place.  The media would love us to believe that we should all hunker down and freeze everything.  Just hang on until the better times come.  Bull stuff!!  The people that are succeeding in their businesses right now are the ones who are approaching their clients with a positive attitude, encouraging them in their ventures and helping them believe that all is not bleak.  The economy is a cycle and this is just part of it.  The ups and downs, the ebb and flow...these are systems that are not new and what is currently down WILL go back up.  We have to choose to live, grow, take chances and explore new territory regardless of what we see around us.  Walt Disney created a whole magical world by believing in what he couldn't see with his eyes.  And we can do the same if we will dare to be positive and choose to believe.

Read more...

Should It Stay Or Should It Go???

I am moving soon.  To a much smaller abode.  As we await the sale of our spacious home in Florida we will be living in a cozy (and by cozy I mean really small) rental in Georgia and so now comes the task of deciding what to take and what to leave.  The thing about stuff is that we get so attached to some stuff and other stuff we don't even realize we have until we open a cabinet or move something out of the way and discover some useless pile of junk that we have had for who knows how long.  "Whose idea was it to buy this??" "What possessed me to keep that??"  "What IS this thing, anyway?"

I am considering throwing out much of what we don't find necessary to take with us.  But some things that I will leave here for now, like my grandmother's jello molds and my mother's high school annuals, well, those are keepers.  Call me sentimental...I totally am.  Those jello molds and annuals and old black and white photos, even the big jar of buttons from so many outfits my grandmother wore, are my connection to something that has become intangible.  They help me to touch what no longer is and therefore feed my soul.  The broken food processor, the now-out-of- style Birkenstocks and the snaggle-toothed rake?  Yardsale fodder.  But all those yesterdays wrapped up in the playing cards that my grandmother used for her "Wednesday Afternoon Bridge Club that met on Fridays" and that still smell like her?  Yeah, I will be keeping those. 

Read more...

Lord Have Mercy, Will This Day Never End???

Aaahhh...Election Day in the great US of A!  Regardless of who you will be voting for today, I think we can all agree that we will be glad to see it all come to an end!  Ugly, nightmarish memories of hanging chads, counted and recounted votes in Florida and the election that would never end just a few short years ago remind us that we cannot take for granted it will all be over as of tonight.  But we do live in hope!

Perhaps you will go to bed with visions of lower taxes dancing in your head and a contented smile because your vote counted and your candidate won.  Maybe you will cry yourself to sleep tonight because your man and his faithful sidekick lost.  No matter.  The sun will rise again tomorrow and life will go on.  God will still love you and your family just as much as He did during the fevered build-up to the election.  I am encouraging myself with this verse from Scripture:

                  Daniel 4:17 "The Most High God is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and He

                  gives them to whomever He wishes."

Dear bloggy friends, we can still trust in His faithfulness and His hand of provision.  We will be able to do as the Psalmist said, "Be strong and let your heart take courage".  Not because we are Republicans or Democrats and not because we are Americans, but because "...we hope in the Lord." (Ps 31:24)  

Read more...

Profoundly Grateful

My heart is heavy tonight.  I have been sitting here reading cards and letters (and crying my blasted eyes out) from so many of our wonderful friends at Christian Heritage Church whom we have had the privilege of pastoring and loving for the past four years.  Never have we felt the sense of "belonging" that we feel here with these people, our people,  and even as we leave and head into the next adventure, our hearts will always have a home here. 

I am especially thankful that God allowed me to be in this place with these people during the long year of caring for my mother through her illness and death.  I cannot imagine finding anywhere else the enduring love that I found here among my church family.  It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket during the coldest time of my life. 

If I have learned anything from this past year it is the importance of grieving.  It is so very necessary to allow your heart time to grieve over and release anything that will no longer be.  So now I begin the important process of letting this season of my life go although a part of me would love to hold onto it for just a little while longer.  It is easy to walk away from seasons of difficulty and pain, but it is a labor of the heart to give up what has been so precious and good.  I know that God will hold carefully my aching heart and I will cooperate with Him in this as I cry and laugh and remember so many wonderful yesterdays we have had here.  

It is a wonder to be allowed to love others and a miracle to be loved in return.  This has been a four year parade of wonders and miracles and for this I am profoundly grateful.

Read more...

Transition

Transition is a funny thing. You are caught somewhere between enjoying the moment and wondering about the future. You feel as though you don't really belong anywhere as you hang over the abyss of change. It is much like that place between asleep and awake where you really aren't one or the other and all you feel is strange. I love to ride roller coasters and I was thinking how similar are the experiences of roller coaster riding and riding the winds of change. You know how you feel as you wait in line, questioning your sanity yet unable to turn back? And then comes the moment of no return when you are buckled in your seat with the safety harness in place and your stomach is doing flip flops as you are tempted to start screaming, "Get me off this contraption!!!!!" Well that is how I feel in times of transition...that odd mixture of thrilled but I could pee in my pants at any moment.

Oswald Chambers said, "The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere." I think as His children we must be ready and willing to move, shift, or change in whatever capacity He desires. For some of us, this requires cardboard boxes and packing tape, but for all of us it requires soft, malleable hearts that are willing to let Him have His way in our lives. And the catch of our breath as we make the ascent to the top of a hill of His making is, I believe, music in His ears.

Read more...

The Adventure Continues...

"People cannot discover new lands until they have the courage to lose sight of the shore"--Andre`Gide

Someone said to me recently that she couldn't wait to see where God would throw us next. She said that what she loves about us is that we are "throwable"(this may be a code word for "crazy"...not sure). This is true...we are throwable (certainly crazy) and it seems that God is throwing us back to the great state of Georgia and into the unexpected. We have been in North Florida pastoring a really fantastic church for the past four + years and much to everyone's surprise, He is now taking us into the marketplace. Eddie will be heading up the sales department for the West Georgia Xerox agency, Digital Technology Solutions, which is owned and operated by his sister and brother-in-law in Columbus, Georgia. I will be pouring my energies into getting my writing off the ground, hopefully making it a source of income for me.

I love the breathlessness that comes with following God and chasing dreams. I think He always meant for life to be, at times, adventurous and surprising, like a voyage on a ship in uncharted waters. The explorers of yesterday would have never known the wonder of seeing a strange, new land on the horizon if they had not left the shoreline of the familiar. This certainly doesn't necessarily require a physical move. Sometimes it simply means stepping outside of what is comfortable and well-worn to do something new that pleases God. Most people love pictures of the vastness of a horizon where the sky and the ocean appear to kiss each other but it is another thing entirely to pull your anchor in your own ship and launch out towards the unknown. There is always that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes and goes...it is just part of the process. Someone asked us yesterday what we plan to do if we fail. We told him that we would check our compass and see which direction He was pointing to next. The adventure would continue.

Read more...

Hope, Nests and Reggae

This time last year I posted a blog about nests. I wrote about my dying mother and the disappointment I was walking through at that time. Today I discovered another nest outside of our kitchen window and I was struck by the timing. I was telling a friend over lunch today that I am finally feeling like myself again and that, although I still have waves of grief wash over me (and I probably always will from time to time), I feel happy again and hopeful. I love life and I always have. Even when the road is difficult, I find this gift of life irresistible and I am profoundly thankful for it. So here I am, a year after the creation of the last nest, watching new life right outside my window. Hopefully these eggs will be left alone (hateful squirrels!) and I will get to see them hatch as my heart begins to feel life again. God has been "incubating" some dreams in a deep place in my heart and I am excited to watch and see what He will do and when He will bring it forth. I know it will be soon because you just know these things.
In two days Eddie and I head to Jamaica for a wedding and as I get to look out at the green blue of the Caribbean with the sound of reggae music in my ears, I will be thanking God for hope and life and new things being birthed in His time.

Read more...