A Tale of Two Cities...Taylor Style

The clock is ticking and we are fast approaching moving day. Our house is a flurry of cardboard, paper and questions and we are making every effort to move with calm assurance through a season that we do not fully understand in a way that honors God.

So, here is where we are. My hubs and I are considering two different cities and we are still not clear which one will be home. Truthfully, we need a miracle in the arena of housing and so we are waiting to see in which city God will perform this amazing miracle. And we now have...(you can hum to yourself while I count)...eleven days left until we have to move. We have less time than we originally thought because we realized we would have to move on a Saturday to have any help. Now, I realize how utterly ridiculous this must sound to most people and even our own three sons, who are used to us and the way God usually leads us, are looking at us like we have lost our everloving minds. But here is the thing...we asked for this.

I would explain what I mean but I am running out of time! Check back for the next installment of what has recently become my "reality blog"....

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Are You Willing To Risk It?

I found this video of a dance tribe forming on Seth's blog this past week. This is a pretty typical group dynamic...once more than a few people join in something, people come in droves to do the very same. But as I watched the first strange man dancing all alone, and in a most bizarre way, I couldn't help but admire his freedom. The truth is, when you act in a way that is different from the norm, people will gawk and laugh and point. Many will feel very uncomfortable with your freedom and your willingness to express it. Others will feel contempt and usually that is because they secretly wish they had that kind of nerve and rather than be challenged by it, they will judge it instead and usually loud enough for others to hear.

Obeying God is just like this video. At times, you are going to look crazy and unstable in all of your ways. It could be that your actions start a revolution and, in time, others will be running to do what you had to work up the nerve to do. But sometimes you will dance alone. It is a risk of obedience. Are you willing to risk it?

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Rooted in Knowing

What do you do when your faith has been stretched to it's perceived outer limits?

How do you wrap your mind around a dead end when you have been walking down a path of obedience?

Are there Christians with superhero-like faith that never doubt and never feel crushed by the way things appear?

What does a Christian do when they are exhausted by the unexpected turns in the road and they think that just one more will push them over the proverbial edge?

What do you do when all of your questions directed to God go unanswered?

My good friend, Oswald Chambers, has this to say: "Unless we can look the darkest, blackest fact full in the face without damaging God's character, we do not yet know Him."

Psalm 73:25, 26 & 28 "Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides you, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, the nearness of God is my good.

Hosea 6:6 "I don't want your sacrifices, I want your love. I don't want your offerings, I want you to know Me."

It all comes back to trust which is rooted in knowing. And this "knowing" is a lifelong pursuit. When we feel that we have no strength left with which to pursue, to desire, to know Him...well, He becomes that, too. In our weakness, He is strong.

Today, I need Him to be strong.

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Why Do You Obey God?

Do you obey God because you were taught to, because you are afraid of not obeying Him, or because of how you were raised?

What do you do when life takes unexpected turns and things do not turn out as you thought?

Are you willing to be misunderstood by others who only see what you do but do not see who you really are?

Are you truly content to follow a course of action that you know God is orchestrating even though onlookers may call you crazy?

In his book, "The Seven Longings of the Human Heart" Mike Bickle writes, "A life characterized by affection-based obedience is a life in which a person knows that he or she is so loved by God, and so loves God in return, that obedience is the only reasonable response to anything God wishes."

It is one thing to say that you love God and want what He wants in your life when obedience is easy. But when following His plan proves costly to you or to others, it is necessary that you are living out of an obedience that is not driven by fear, or habit or even proper upbringing. When obedience is costly, it must be pure, unabashed love for God that motivates, for it is that and that alone which will carry you through the fallout of following Him.

This question haunts me and I long to be able to say that every day of my life I will not just follow obediently, but that I will dance down His path for me with a heart so full of fascinated love that I see no other way but His.

How would you answer this question?

Why do you obey God?

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Faith, Abandonment and Other Easy Things

"I may not understand what Jesus Christ says, but it is dangerous to say that therefore He was mistaken in what He said. It is never right to think that my obedience to a word of God will bring dishonor to Jesus. The only thing that will bring dishonor is not obeying Him. To put my view of His honor in place of what He is plainly impelling me to do is never right, although it may arise from a real desire to prevent Him being put to open shame." -Oswald Chambers

I have been thinking about these words from Oswald Chambers that I read in my devotion yesterday. When the leading of God conflicts with our understanding of God we are left questioning how well we really know God. You may ask yourself, "How can this possibly be the voice of God? This doesn't make sense and either God is going to look foolish or I am." I love the above passage from My Utmost For His Highest because it puts in proper perspective this debate in which we sometimes find ourselves. We must never put our view in place of His direction in our lives. This is easy to give voice to but excruciating at times to do. What makes it even harder is when you are concerned that your obedience will tarnish His reputation in the eyes of people you lead, maybe even your own children. And that is where faith must kick in.

Chambers goes on to say that "Faith is not intelligent understanding, faith is deliberate commitment to a Person where I see no way." Absolute, unquestioning obedience requires total abandonment of self which is so much more than lip service to a particular creed. It doesn't just ask for involvement, it requires an absorption of who you are into Who He is.
So, no matter how out of place or uncomfortable His leading in your life may be, your only response should be complete trust and unwavering confidence that He can handle the resulting consequences of your obedience. I don't know about you but I wrestle with this. And sometimes, it is just not pretty. But when it is all said and done, I can't help but come back to the simple truth of an old hymn "I once was lost but now am found; was blind but now I see." He changed me from who I was to who I am. And using the language of a changed life, He can speak for Himself.

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Hungry for Him

So, here we are at the beginning of Lent. Ash Wednesday was yesterday and I am sure many of you are fasting or have given up something for the next fortyish days or so. I have read a few things here and there about what people are giving up for Lent or if they see any merit at all in this practice and I have totally enjoyed hearing so many points of view on the subject. And because I am me, I, too, have an opinion and I thought I would share it.

I fast at different times throughout the year as a discipline because Jesus didn't say in his teachings, "IF you fast", but rather, "WHEN you fast". (Matt 6:16) I am not trying to sound all holy here...I hate fasting food and I have to make myself do it. But when I do, it brings a lot of junk to the surface of my life and then He can deal with me about those things. I think of it more like choosing to sit on the front row in a classroom. I am positioning myself to better hear His voice. So then when I crave food (pretty much all the time), I can immediately shift my focus to Him rather than fulfilling a fleshly urge. It is my understanding that the original intent for fasting food for Lent was because food preparation back then was very time-consuming so the idea was to devote that time to feeding your soul rather than your flesh. Again, positioning yourself to hear His voice. I don't believe it can ever be viewed as sacrifice, for what "sacrifice" could we ever give that compares with His great sacrifice. And He tells us in scripture that He does not want our sacrifices...He wants US. (Hos 6:6) No, it is about nearness to Him. It should always come back to nearness to Him.

My friends, if you are fasting for Lent or not, I hope and pray that you will consider making the discipline of fasting a part of your love life with God that happens more than once a year. Put yourself on the front row as often as possible and drink it in.

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Arriving Is A Wonder

Most pictures of Jesus that I have ever seen are pretty cheesy. But I really like this one. It is exactly where I am living right now. If there could be a drawing before this one, it would show the child on the floor at Jesus' feet, kicking and screaming and throwing a giant hissy fit. That would be exactly where I was living up until recently.

I heard someone say that a Christian should "nestle, not wrestle and snuggle, not struggle." I really like that, too. When you can cuddle up into the purpose and plan of God for your life, it is a great relief. Just like after a good cry, when your lungs are still heaving and your breathing is uneven, there is a sense of peaceful relief that settles over a surrendered will. Getting there may be a struggle, but arriving is a wonder.

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Waiting for God

"The years teach much which the days never know." -Ralph Waldo Emerson


I do not like to wait for God. This is probably why I spend so much time doing just that...He knows how I feel about it. Not that He is punishing me, He just seems to push me in all the directions which I resist.

For some odd reason the phrase "waiting for God" often reminds me of that Samuel Beckett play, "Waiting for Godot". It has been said that much Christian symbolism can be found in this work but Beckett categorically denied any symbolism at all in his play. I never cared much for the play because Godot never shows up where the two tramps are waiting for him. It is a terrible thing to not show up. If you have ever had a principal character on the stage of your life fail to show up, you know what a crushing blow it can be. The problem is when I then interpret God's timing (which is not at all like my timing) as failure to show up. But He must show up. He promised to "never leave us or forsake us" (Deut 31:6, 8) and He never lies. He is unlike any "character" in our earthly existence. He makes good on His promises. But why does my heart struggle at times to remember this fundamental truth? Because it is the essence of fallen man to doubt God and expect Him to, in turn, misunderstand and punish us. As it was for the first man and woman, so it will be for us. And so we must fight this temptation for the duration of our time here. To run into Him and wait or choose for yourself and then run away. Adam and Eve's choice. My choice. Your choice.

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So This Is His Grace...

"God calls us throughout our life to severe grace, the grace of the cocoon. We are called to separate from the old, to die in order to be reborn. If we open ourselves to this severe grace, we encounter God in new places: in the cyclone, in the dark, in the crisis that shatters our old confining consciousness. It is this severity that makes us new."
-Sue Monk Kidd

When I was six, my grandfather took my brother and me to the local carnival where the rides are put together in a store parking lot in just a matter of hours and you wonder who in their right mind would really get on one of them. My brother chose the "Spider" which was a ride that went around and around while the bucket seats at the end of each spider leg would spin. And spin. And spin. I do not like to spin. This was the moment in my young life when this revelation came to me. The ride began and thus began my screaming. I screamed for the entire duration, begging the man running the ride to PLEASE LET ME OFF!!! He did not and it was then that I realized that there are consequences for the choices you make in life.

Fast forward thirty-four years and there you find me on another of life's rides that seemed safe, nonthreathening, benign even from the ground but once strapped in and the motion began, then came the moment of yet another fit of screaming. "I want to encounter you in familiar places, GOD!!!!!!!!!!" "You tricked me!!!!!" "I am not talking to YOU anymore, and I mean it!"

What? You don't talk to God like that? I know, it is irreverent, but I just figure that He knows what I think so I might as well get it all out there. He has never minded my honesty. It is I who mind His. Sometimes. And yet this past weekend I was thankful for His honesty as I stilled myself long enough to hear Him talking to me. And this is what I discovered. I don't really understand the love of God. I had thought that, to some degree, I did. I was wrong. As He "shatters my old, confining consciousness", I am finding that He plans to make me new, yet again. I don't know what this means this time. But I will surely keep you posted.

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Good to Great-Gretzky Style

It is my sincere desire to be a woman upon whom God can depend to be "tuned in" to what He is saying and where He is heading.  In Genesis 41, Joseph was listening to God and perceiving what He was saying to His people at that time.  His keen perception of God's plan for upcoming events informed the leadership of a nation and people were spared from starvation.  

Jesus was the greatest perceiver of the heart of God (since He was pretty tight in the Trinity) and in John chapter 6  He "perceives that they were intending to come and take Him by force to make Him king so He withdrew again to the mountain by Himself alone."   His actions were determined by the way in which God led Him, knowing, at least in part, what was just up ahead.  

It is those times in my life when I feel hopelessly out of step with where He is headed that I feel the most frustration.  I know the Word says that we see in part and know in part (1 Cor 13) but there are clear Biblical examples of those who were great players because they were playing where the puck was going to be.  I want to live as Joseph lived- listening, believing and speaking boldly, anticipating where God is going to be and thus making a difference to a generation.

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If You WIll Let Him

Yesterday, I wrote about brokenness and I said that He will break you if you will let Him. So, what does that look like? There is a difference between what you will tolerate and what you will embrace. There have been times in my life where I merely tolerated His way over mine and then thought I deserved some sort of award for my obedience. But He was gracious enough to teach me that what He is looking for is honor, not tolerance. He is looking for me to wrap my arms around the process as if it were a gift from Him and walk in the way He has opened for me. Or wait, clothed in the circumstance of His choosing. This is honoring Him.

I forgot that lesson and so the past two weeks of my life have not been very pretty. My other mother and dear mentor, Miss Susan, reminded me of this truth. And she didn't remind me with a finger in my face. No, she had my hands in hers with tears streaming down her face. Hers is a life of brokenness, a life that I respect and long to emulate. And so I have turned to Him and I am wrapping my arms around this process in which I find myself, embracing it like I would Him if I could touch Him. And in so doing, I have found His touch again.

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The Way of Brokenness

Horses must be broken to be of any good to a human. The breaking process is used to bring the horse under the master's control and often consists of leading the horse through many potentially frightening situations until it learns to trust its master. This process works best over time-instant results don't happen.

Some people wrongly assume that brokenness in a Christian's life is a destination where, once reached, a permanent address is then set up. If only this were true. The truth is that opportunities for brokenness come to us many times over the course of our lives. Unlike a horse, we have the ability to reason(which can be such a hindrance) and so we do not live out of mere animal instinct. When we come to any future "potentially frightening situations", we say, "But Lord, I have already been tested. Surely this cannot be You. Did I not already prove to You that I will do what You ask of me?" And there we sit trying to understand how we could possibly be at another such place of breaking, perhaps one even more difficult than the last.

Only God knows what is up ahead and what preparation we will need for tomorrow. It is often the promises of tomorrow that necessitate the breaking of today. Other times it is human pride that rears its ugly head and returns in us for an encore performance. Pride loves encores. And then another opportunity for brokenness must come and lower the curtain on such a performance. Ultimately, God is determined to break me both for my good and for His glory. And He will do the same for you. If you will let Him.

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That's a Good Question!

What would happen if every time you opened your mouth today only positive words came out?

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Counting the Cost

It is hard when your obedience to God is costly to others. It is one thing to walk out the consequences yourself but it is another thing entirely when you see what it costs others. It hurts and it causes you to question yourself. Did I really hear Him? Am I crazy? No. You are not crazy. It just hurts and there is nothing you can do but walk in obedience and trust the rest to Him. Oswald Chambers said this: "If we obey God, He will look after those who have been pressed into the consequences of our obedience. We have simply to obey and to leave all consequences to Him."
But most of us are not good at leaving things to Him. He is teaching me to leave it with Him, to count the cost and to trust. Is He teaching you this same thing?

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The Way He Has Chosen

I love the quiet comfort of my house early in the morning before everyone else wakes up. The luxury of having unhurried and uninterrupted moments with God is like a gift box in your lap wrapped in really expensive paper that is way outside your budget with the kind of bow that you could never have tied yourself and so you just want to sit and hold it a while and not rush through the process of getting to what is inside.

In recent weeks I felt the Lord pulling me back to the classic book, Hinds' Feet on High Places, which I have read at least eight times over the past eighteen years but which never fails to speak something of great value to my heart. I have been working through it slowly during my devotional time, savoring it like an expensive meal in a fine restaurant. The other day I read this passage: "Will you bear this too, Much-Afraid? Will you suffer yourself to lose or to be deprived of all you have gained on this journey to the High Places? Will you go down this path into the Valley of Loss, just because it is the way I have chosen for you? Will you still trust and still love Me?"

What is my answer to that question? There are turns in the path with Him where He brings you to a place that overlooks the Valley of Loss and you must consider if you really are willing to follow Him into something that appears crazy and that places all that you have gained so far onto the altar of sacrifice. Many in the audience of your life might even judge you and ridicule you for taking such a direction and, as for applause...well, there will be none of that. Will I allow Him to break the reverie of my daily living to pose such a question to me? Will you?

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For Those Who Dare to Dream...Part 2

If you are contemplating your big dream or maybe just another dream in a succession of “God dreams”, then consider this:

“Your dream lies in the direction of an overwhelming obstacle. If you go toward it today,
you will bring God honor. And you will experience a life marked by miracles as God inter-
venes on your behalf.”

This is an excerpt from Bruce Wilkinson’s book The Dream Giver. If you are considering a big launch in the direction of your dream, I strongly recommend this book to you. I read this little book five years ago at the time of death of one of our big dreams. It was a crucial time as I considered the cost of the launch while I swam about in the deep waters where my boat had sunk. But land was a short swim away and another launch towards another dream was just around the corner. Life is like that if you dare to trust His plan and you believe that your destiny lies in the palm of His hand.
Dwight L. Moody was one of the biggest risk-takers of the nineteenth century and this was written about him by his own son:

It may be safely said that in the beginning of all his greatest and most successful efforts he
stood alone, acting against the advice of those best able, apparently, to judge of the matter-
with the one exception of his most valued human advisor…his wife.

This is not to say that Godly counsel is to be disregarded. On the contrary, you must take such counsel to your place of meeting with God and allow Him to show you truth. But once you have heard from God, my friend, then run towards your dream and trust that He will see you through. There is just nothing like it! On your mark, get set…..GO!!

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