Two Things a Leader MUST Have

My mind is a circus of thoughts today. I read of the recent moral failure of a prominent church planter/pastor/blogger, Gary Lamb, today. His five-year-old church plant, Revolution Church, is in Canton, Georgia in the Atlanta area and you can read about his recent resignation here. Why am I bringing attention to yet another blight on the American church? I am glad you asked.

Next to nurturing an intimate relationship with God, my greatest desire as a minister of the Gospel is to live a life of integrity. This desire is not so that I will be shiny and and stainless and admired, but so that my life will garner little attention and He will get it all. I have no doubt that Gary Lamb had similar desires when he set out to plant Revolution Church. The reality is that not one person on the planet is above the temptation of sexual sin or the sin of pride or any other sin for that matter. We will all fight temptation until we draw our last breath. And those who do think they are immune to such things are in the greatest danger. The only difference between a leader who falls and a leader who does not are boundaries and accountability.

Leader, if you remember nothing else I have written here these past two years, please remember this: you are only as safe from sin as the boundaries you set for yourself and the accountability that keeps you within them. To give you an example, I will share with you some of the boundaries that my husband and I have set for ourselves.

-We never, under any circumstances, allow ourselves to be alone with anyone of the opposite sex. Period.

-If anyone of the opposite sex behaves inappropriately with either of us, we quickly alert the other of the situation and handle it immediately.

-We never counsel someone of the opposite sex alone. We always have someone else sit in or we counsel that person together.

-We are very vocal about our marriage relationship and we publicly affirm that relationship so others see that we are knitted together and will not be an easy target.

-We nurture intimate relationships with close friends and mentors who know where we are in our walks with God...not just our ministry. Many leaders in the church talk freely about their ministries and say very little about their intimacy with Jesus. Open doors and open hearts are much safer.

-When we are struggling with anything, we get help. You cannot wrestle temptation alone. Run, don't walk, to your mentors or co-laborers and get help.

-We prioritize our lives. Ministry responsibilities MUST come after your marriage and then your family time. If you win your entire city for Christ but your children are neglected and hurting and your spouse is a stranger to you, you are a dismal failure.

Please let me clarify. I am writing this NOT to judge a fallen minister, but rather to expose the desperate need in the body of Christ for boundaries and accountability. I do not write these things because I am immune to sin, but rather because I know that I am wretched flesh and, if left to my own devices, I will sin . And so will you. Examine your life and ministry. Shore up the integrity of your own life and ministry by putting careful boundaries in place and then insure these boundaries with faithful people who will love you enough to correct you.

Your life depends on it. And if you lead, so do the lives of so many others.

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Business Time

A little weekend bonus for the brave few who are popping by to see what is what. This is a little PG-13. So funny!

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Transformed

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"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."       Carl Jung

When I was a kid, I had my future all figured out.  I was going to be a world-renowned psychologist with many books to my credit and a full speaking tour.  And I was going to do it alone-just me and God.  Growing up I saw very little that drew me to the idea of marriage.  And yet, when I was nineteen, I met Eddie Taylor and in him I knew I had found my home. One year later I married my best friend and today we celebrate twenty years of profound "heaven on earth".  These two decades have been filled with adventure, excitement, peace, passion, love and a little heartache.  Three sons, six fish, two cats and two dogs later, I wouldn't have my life any other way.  God's love has transformed me and His catalyst has been my husband.  I tell him that he is diet coke and I am mentos and that together we are infinitely better and entirely transformed, reaching heights that alone would be impossible.  I love you, Eddie Taylor!  Happy Anniversary.

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Head...Small Word, Big Misunderstanding

1Co 11:3  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 

This is a verse of Scripture that has been misunderstood for a very long time.  In the original Greek language the word for head is kephale.  Kephale means source or origin.  The word head in this passage is meant to communicate that man is the source or origin of woman.  It was from man that woman was taken.  The entire reflection of God's image was found completely in Adam, the first man.  When woman was taken out of man, he was no longer the complete image by himself for the woman was the completion of that total image.  

The ancients believed that semen, the source of life, was produced in the brain of man which is in his head so then the head represented the very source of life.  David Hamilton points out in his book, Why Not Women, that "kephale was the word used for the source of a river.  This is why the Greeks often set up the head of a man at a fountain or at the source of a river.  We still refer to the source of a river as its headwaters."  Somehow in the church this meaning is often hidden and instead authority is what is pulled from this passage.

In his beautifully written book, The Shack, William Young has the Holy Spirit speaking to Mack, the main character, and He is answering his question regarding things that God seems to have hidden from man in this life.  Holy Spirit answers him saying, "The choice to hide so many wonders from you is an act of love that is a gift inside the process of life."  God hides some things so that we can have the pure joy of finding them.  Woman was one such gift for man.  She was there within him and God brought out what was hidden to bring joy to the man and complete him.  Man is her kephale, her source, her origin.  And that is why together they are one.  And that is why marriage based on this understanding of this verse in Corinthians is so fulfilling.  It is not about heirarchy...it is about oneness.  Oneness, completion, the fulfillment of real intimacy...this is what man and woman were intended to know together and it is one of the very sweetest of His "hidden joys".

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The Sexual Christian

I know, I know, the title is unforgivable, but I swear it really is the title of a book. Years ago I was at the home of a friend and on her bookshelf was a copy of this book which is now out of print. In true "beth" style, I cracked up laughing because, really, doesn't it sound like a line from a Saturday Night Live skit? "I'm Beth Taylor and I AM........the SEXUAL CHRISTIAN!"

Anyhoo, as cornball as the title sounds, it is true that as Christians we should be comfortable with our sexuality, and as married christians we should be all about loving the spouse God gave us. After these years of pastoring I am well acquainted with how many troubled marriages there are in the church and how sexual dysfunction runs rampant among Christians. What is so very sad is that God intends for sex to be this incredible gift, but so often the church has no idea how to teach people to unwrap and enjoy it. I long to see marriages healed and husbands and wives free to give themselves wholeheartedly to one another. It is important for older couples with healthy marriages to come alongside younger couples and mentor them, giving encouragement and counsel as they work through their issues. Yet sadly, many couples struggle in a hellish, private world where they have no one with whom they can unmask and find the fulfillment that they find so elusive.

If you are struggling in your marriage, if physical intimacy is less than magical...do not lose hope. God can heal and restore, inspire and ignite. It is His deep desire that you might know heaven on earth. It is not some intangible fairy tale. It is real. And you can have it. Seek out that couple in your life that has a marriage you envy and pursue them as marriage mentors. Don't hide and pretend that all is well when you are dying inside. It could be that all you have to do is ask.

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My Man

My computer crashed on Friday morning as we were beginning an FDM board meeting (perfect timing!). A virus. Where would little ole' me pick up a virus?? This is bad for me. I have come to regard my laptop as an additional appendage and I had no idea what to do without it. Crossway Church's resident youth pastor and computer specialist, Brian Nelson, worked his magic, but we still had to wipe it completely and reinstall everything. And by everything, I do mean everything. And by we, I mean Eddie as I know nothing about this great little machine other than how to use it, and sometimes this is questionable.

I said all of this to say that my fantastic husband spent Saturday, Sunday and today working on my laptop so that I could quickly get back to my writing. He even missed most of the Georgia/South Carolina game on Saturday (fortunately it was replayed tonight) so that he could take care of me. They just don't make men like Eddie Taylor. He is a man like no other. And I thank God that he is mine!

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