Friday Jumbles

--From the Department of Completely Useless Information, I am happy to inform you that if you have had or are considering having your dog neutered, there is help on the way so that his self esteem need not suffer. Click here to read about Neuticles if you are as concerned about your neutered pet's emotional health as I am about mine. "It's like nothing ever changed!"

--Tim Sanders (oh, I do respect this man) has written another great post on scarcity thinking in regard to the current recession. Take a minute to click over and read his words of life and encouragement.

--I'm not saying that extended periods of transition and trying to sell ones house are stressful, but yesterday I gave one of my high school age sons his younger brother's math test by mistake. He was NOT happy with me, but I am happy to report that my ninth grade son is, in fact, smarter than a fifth grader.

--And speaking of stressful circumstances, my dog Kramer...you know, the little fuzzball that throws up everywhere in my house? He had a seizure recently and , once I figured out he wasn't break dancing, I rushed him to the vet where he immediately returned to his normal state and peed all over the examination room floor. It's all good though...the doctor assured me that if this keeps up, I can purchase pills that he will need to take TWICE A DAY FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

--Hope you people have a blissfully happy holiday weekend. I won't post on Monday because, well, if the postal employees don't have to work, then neither am I. I will be back on Wednesday. Holla!!

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Friday Jumbles

--This just in from the Department of Disease Control and Extreme Neuroses: It came to my attention this past week that the coffee stirrers at Starbucks fall under the same unfortunate contamination risk as the toothpicks that were tested back in the 1980's for traces of urine. You remember that study... where they tested the unwrapped toothpicks in the dispensers on restaurant counters only to discover traces of urine and other yummy bacteria. (This is where I was going to reference this study, thus proving my thorough and dependable reporting skills only I couldn't find one. It's true though. You can trust me.) I realized this when I met a friend for coffee this past week and was in need of a stirrer. Sadly, I have been to Starbucks hundreds of times and this is the first time I thought of this. What kind of racket are they running? No way am I stirring my mocha with a urine stick. Anymore.

--My children have all been away this whole week and I have made some startling discoveries:
1. I enjoy extended periods of quiet. Okay this is not new information but it was worth pointing out.
2. There have not been any blobs of toothpaste in any sinks and no toilet seats left up. I have been suspecting them all along but this just confirms my husband's innocence.
3. Our grocery bill hit a record low this week, confirming my suspicions that boys really do have hollow legs.
4. I enjoy extended periods of quiet. Oh, wait...I already mentioned that.
5. I am waaaaaaay more productive when there are no arguments to referee and I am not constantly saying, "Turn that lousy excuse for music down!" or "Which part of 'NO' do you not understand?"
6. I miss my hungry, messy, loud, toothpaste wasting bottomless pits when they are not here.

--The sands of July are quickly running out...hope you are living big this summer!

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Friday Jumbles

--Conversation that took place at my house this week:
14-year-old son: "Can I take my coffee into my bedroom?"
44-year-old dad: "Can you keep from spilling it on the carpet?"
14-year-old son: "Dad, I am 14...not 4."
44-year-old dad: "True, but you just microwaved a metal spoon..."

--I know I refer to Tim Sanders frequently here, but he just says so many things that make sense. Check out this post on cell phone conversations. It is good stuff!

--The tragedy of the week involves my poor laptop. Apparently something unfortunate happened to the keyboard and now the "shift" key is broken and the a, a ..."A" key sticks and it is a hopeless mess that has sent me spiraling into a deep depression. so, my hubs recommended taking it in to Dr. Hard Drive, but i just cannot bring myself to enter an establishment that sounds like the name of an adult film star. i mean really. but clearly i cannot live without my shift key and without capital letters in my life. and "a"s that stick? don't even get me started! what's a girl to do/ do/ do? i will tell you what...my hubs took it in because he isn't concerned much with his reputation and, quite honestly, he has been to see dr. hard drive before. it's his dirty little secret. well, up until now, that is. sooo, here's hoping that i get back in the land of capital letters. and "a"s that don't stick.

--oh, and in case you want to get all sassy with me and leave me a comment telling me that my keyboard has two shift keys, let me spare you the trouble. my sons, all three, pointed this out already and i let them know that when i took typing in high school, i always used the left shift key and i have no living idea how to even use the right one. it would be like trying to paint with my toes, okay? sorry. i have been a wee bit out of sorts this week.

--have a lovely weekend. hope it is filled with shifts that work and "a"s that don't stick!

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Friday Jumbles

--One of the blogs I follow is Jeremie Kubicek over at Giant Perspectives. He writes on leadership and recently posted The What, Why and How of Reading. It is no secret that I am a huge fan of reading, both for recreation and for personal/professional growth, and I found this post to be encouraging and insightful. Just sharing the love...cause that is what I do!

--Those of you who know me are aware that I can be quite absent-minded at times. On some levels this can be cute and quirky. This week, however, I took it to a whole new level. A much LOWER level. I was making homemade chocolate ice cream for the bottomless pits that live in my house and had completely assembled my trusty Alton Brown recommended ice cream maker. Or so I thought. After preparing the ingredients and pouring them through the opening at the top, I was astounded to see no churning action going on and all of the delicious chocolatey goodness was running out all over the counter. Now, I ask you...what kind of thinking individual forgets the FREEZER BOWL in the whole ice cream making process??? Uuummmm....that would be me. Obviously thinking was not involved that day. It was a small miracle that I didn't totally destroy our favorite small appliance.
**please note that no small animals or children were harmed during this process. I, however, was thoroughly ridiculed by every member of my family, including my visiting sister**

--Fav quote: "The shell must be cracked apart if what is in it is to come out, for if you want the kernel, you must break the shell." ~Meister Eckhart

--In case you didn't know, having your shell cracked is agony. And that is all I am going to say about that.

--I am headed to the great state of Alabama this weekend for a wedding ( I love weddings). Our very special friends, Greg and Pam Rogers, who planted and pastor Tuscaloosa Life Church will be watching one of their sons marry the love of his life. I love weddings...did I mention that? My favorite moment is when the bride appears because I love, love, love seeing the look on the groom's face when he sees her for the first time and watches her come toward him. It makes me think of the joy it must give the Lord when He looks at me and at you, His bride, coming toward Him. And it makes me want to draw nearer still to Him.

Do have a wonderous weekend! See you on Monday.

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Friday Jumbles: Beach Edition

Observations from the seaside:

--All food tastes better at the beach.
--Calories do not matter while away at the beach and watching what you eat is completely unnecessary.
--Some people are under the complete misapprehension that swimsuits are one size fits all.
--Bologna sandwiches are tastier with sand in them.
--Coke for breakfast is acceptable, even recommended, at the beach.
--God made spray on sunscreen and I love Him for this.
--It is okay to leave your beds unmade for the duration of your time at the beach.
--Hanging over your balcony and yelling loud, obnoxious greetings at the people walking by is frowned upon by some folks.
--There are actually people in the world who think it is okay to leave dirty diapers and tampon applicators on the beach. This is a great mystery to me that I do not understand.
--O'Steens in St. Augustine, FL has the best fried shrimp on the planet. And they are deveined...bonus points for that!
--It is not considered abusive to bury your children in sand and then take pictures of them.
--Chubby, naked babies running around on the beach are cute. Chubby, nearly naked men of retirement age running around on the beach are nauseating. Add excessive back hair to the equation and you might need to take some Pepto.
--My first book will be entitled "Men With Excessive Back Hair and the Women Who Love Them But Not Enough to Help Them Get Rid of It." You can pre-order your copy in the comment section.
--Certain boys I know think that chlorine can serve as shampoo for the duration of an entire week. This is not recommended. I repeat-NOT recommended.
--Being at the beach requires lots of energy. This explains the necessity of eating 6-8 meals a day. That is my story and I am sticking to it.
--And finally, responsible parents do NOT allow their sons to use blow dart guns to kill innocent frogs from the safety and comfort of their condo balcony. For the record, this was another family with questionable parenting skills and not us.

Have a great Fourth of July weekend!

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Friday Jumbles

--So, I sat in the Publix parking lot the other day for what seemed like forever and do you know what I was waiting for??? I will tell you. I was waiting for the car that was three cars ahead of me and that car was waiting for a choice parking spot. I would like to just note that the driver of the parked car was taking his sweet time loading his groceries into his car and he was even loading drinks into his cooler. Clearly this was going to be a long process but the prime parking spot hopeful was undaunted and was evidently determined that they MUST have that one parking spot. Now, I know it has been about 12000 degrees outside every day and nobody wants to be in the heat for longer than they have to, but why do people (most of whom are perfectly healthy and able to walk a hundred feet or so across a parking lot) insist on waiting for the closest parking spot, causing a twelve car pile up behind them, rather than just taking any old spot and just walk for the love of all that is good in this world!!???!! Sorry. Tangent.

--If you have the desire to see the movie, "He Is Just Not That Into You", I recommend that you take two aspirin and lie down until the urge passes. It was not worth the four dollars I spent renting it or the gas I burned driving to Blockbuster. You can trust me on this one.

--Apparently there is profit in avoiding pregnancy for teen girls now in the state of North Carolina. I don't want to just be critical because I do see the motivation behind this program, but really now...we are paying human beings to do what used to be a moral minimum. How did we get to this place? I suppose that, since we have reduced human sexuality to an animal urge that is beyond our control so we pass out birth control in place of self-control, it is a natural progression that we would begin offering financial incentives to help regulate moral behaviors. But that is just how I see it.

--Tim Stevens had a great post on his blog yesterday about how we do church in America. Frankly, I hate the phrase "do church" and for the record those were not words he used in this post but they are words that church leaders, myself included, have often used. I totally agree with his assertions about the busyness and programming of most churches and the expectations we place on Joe or Sally Churchgoer. Check it out here.

--I am headed to the ole' home town this weekend to see family and go to Crossway Church. Our very close friends, Rodney and Renee Thrift, planted Crossway Church almost seven years ago and God has been amazing them all ever since. If you ever get to the Southeast corner of Georgia, you have to stop in and experience Crossway Church. Tell them I sent you and you might get asked off the property. Just kidding. Oh, and do check out their website...it is verrry impressive!

Have a loverly weekend!!

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Friday Jumbles

--If you have one minute and one second to spare, hop on over here and hear a small morsel from one of Tim Sander's recent talks on generosity. I honestly love this guy because he is constantly challenging the scarcity mindset and he is effectively breathing life into the hearts of people who are afraid of where we are in this nation. Really good stuff.

--As an avid reader, I try to give myself a taste of many different kinds of books to consistantly challenge and educate myself. Biographies are a great change of pace and I really love learning about people who have made their dreams come true and the path that got them there. Right now I am chewing through Julie Andrew's memoir and, wow, has her life has been fascinating! If you are looking for some summer reading, grab a biography and get lost in the life of someone you admire.

--It is now summertime and the season when a young man's fancy turns to....peeing outside. I have been trying to understand why members of the male species find that such a fascinating pastime. Is it just because they can? I can give birth, but this was never so much a fascination as a necessity in becoming a parent. If anyone has wisdom and insight into this phenom, I would appreciate it.

--I have a million and one things to do before next week so I am out of here, friends. Have a big weekend...read a biography...pee outside...knock yourself out!

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Friday Jumbles

--If you have some time to burn and are sorely in need of a belly laugh, please click here and head over to hear Jeanne Robertson, a former Miss North Carolina, tell the story of "Left Brain's Grocery List." This woman is Southern and funny, my favorite combination except for dark chocolate and peanut butter which is indisputably the best combination there is. Amen.

--I am traveling today to the great state of South Carolina, home of intelligent and articulate beauty pageant contestants. Oops. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. Anyway, I am headed to Florence to see my nephew graduate from high school and I just have one question for you. If there are approximately three hundred graduates and I am there to see only one walk across the stage, is it wrong to do a crossword puzzle or read before and after my nephew walks? Yeah, I know. I am just gonna be bored. (sigh)

--I watched House Hunters on HGTV last night and I sat amazed as a young couple (they don't even have kids yet) purchased a $1.5 million home in Belize. Not to pander to the wealthy, the next episode featured a young couple about the same age who have been living in a tent in the woods (even more amazing) and have decided they might like to try life inside of some walls and under a roof so they were looking for a rental in the city. Who does that? Who gets engaged and then registers at the Bass Pro Shop because they want to set up housekeeping in a tent in the woods? I'm not saying it is wrong. I am a live-and-let-live kind of person. I'm just saying...I'm just saying...WHY???

--Hope you have a relaxing weekend and that you don't have to drive for sixteen hours in two days. That would be my destiny.

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Friday Jumbles

--This has been week two of a pretty nasty infection that seems to be feeling perfectly at home in my lungs (yesterday it was choosing wallpaper and picking out a china pattern) so I hope you aren't expecting much in the way of deep thought or witticisms. I haven't had something that put me down like this in ten years, so I am not used to this. I am woman. I'm invincible. I am...absolutely full of it.

--I did manage to get to the theater and catch the new Star Trek flick which I absolutely loved. My dad is a huge fan so I pretty much grew up on the U.S.S. Enterprise. Given my extensive background in all things Star Trek, I thought it was a great movie and even though I didn't get to see Ricardo Montalban bare-chested wearing a really bad wig, it was a total Trek experience. You still won't catch me anywhere near one of those freak show conventions of theirs but I will love James T. Kirk until the day I die.

--Fav quote of the week: "It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." ~J. K. Rowling

--I am headed to my annual youth group reunion weekend on Jekyll Island. All of us who were in Youth Group together meet every year and act like we are sixteen again. I love good friends that are there for a lifetime...what a gift! Have a big weekend. See you Monday.

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Friday Jumbles

--This week at Giant Perspectives, one of the leadership blogs I read, Jeremie Kubicek had a great, short video perspective on Followership. I have always said that an effective leader must first become a loyal and faithful follower. But he says it better. Take two or three minutes and check out what he has to say about it.

--Fav quote of the week: "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." ~Rita Rudner

--It has been a fun-filled week at the Taylor house. Our van broke down. Again. Our lawnmower completely bit the dust. We bought a new lawnmower. And one of the computers crashed. My big man fixed the computer. I love my big man. And I have been sick with a yucky cold most of the week. My friend and lover, Nyquil, has totally let me down every single night and I am remembering fondly the days when I could breathe through my nose. Return to me, dear, open nasal passages, return to me!

--Even worse than the above events of the past week is the fact that I just learned that our dead lawnmower was self-propelled. SELF-PROPELLED! This little piece of information would have come in handy years ago....

--My youngest son turned 10 this past Wednesday and I was suddenly jolted by the reality that I can no longer blame this extra twenty pounds I carry on the fact that "I just had a baby." Great! Now what will I say.......

Do have a lovely holiday weekend. I will most likely spend mine at the pharmacy looking for a new decongestant. Thank you and amen.

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Friday Jumbles

--I am committing to keep my video camera charged at all times from this day forward. Last night after dinner, my middle son started dancing to some techno song that my older son was playing on the desktop in the kitchen. It was a moment in time that I am sad to say I will never witness again. We were all doubled over laughing, especially when his head slammed into the refrigerator as he was spinning in circles. A dancer he is not. But oh, so funny he is!

--For all of my "Office" friends out there, can you believe they ended the season last night with Pam finding out she is pregnant?? The odd thing is that she was taken to the hospital to have an ankle x-ray so how did they discover she was pregnant??? Hmmmmm.....

--Fav quote of the week: "Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head." ~Garrison Keillor

--I started not to post this quote, although it is a great quote, because it sounds like something an ugly person would say. There- I admitted it. I can be shallow. Amen. Oh, and I ripped this quote from my friend, Joylene's, blog. I am a lowly worm.

--If you do not have teenagers, perhaps you are unaware of the decline in the attention span of the American teen. On an average trip across town with my kids, we will listen one third of the way through to about fifteen different songs. My oldest son calls it iPod ADD. I do not understand this phenom. In the '80s I would listen to Van Halen sing "Jump" from beginning to end. Of course we did not have CDs so you couldn't "jump around" on a cassette tape. Sigh. I am suddenly feeling really old.

--On that note, I am heading off into the bright, sunshiny weekend. Have a big, fat, wonderful time but do come back here next week. You know you need me.

--

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Friday Jumbles

--Fav quote of the week: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." ~Bill Cosby

--Since I know you all are dying to know, I found my prized recipe collection. It seems that in my packing frenzy I thought it a good idea to put them all inside my huge stock pot. After I wrote my post for last Friday, I had a sudden epiphany and went to check inside of it. If I am this absent-minded now, I shudder to think what I will be like when I am 85.

--This week, Tim Sanders wrote a great post on selfishness. Please check it out here. It is short, direct and very enlightening...a little wisdom snack that you cannot pass up.

--Someone who lives in my house recently educated me as to the origins of mankind. It seems that the woman was not taken from the man's rib as I had been led to believe but rather she evolved from a dinosaur. More specifically, the Vaginasaurus Rex. I also was enlightened to learn from a different someone who lives in my house that the historic line that separates the North from the South is the well-known Winn-Dixie Line. As a parent who has homeschooled my children for the past twelve years, I couldn't be more proud than I am in this moment.

--I love the way outside smells in early May. There is Confederate Jasmine growing in my yard and it smells so good that I jump at the chance to take the little pooch out for a walk. I am pretty sure that heaven is going to smell just like Jasmine. That or warm chocolate chip cookies.

--And finally, I know I don't say this enough so I am just gonna say it. I really heart you people who read this blog. I may not have the largest readership out there, but that is really not important to me. I love getting to know you. All of you who leave comments allow me to see who you are and and then I can check in on your blogs or websites or what have you...and I just love that. What a great bunch of folks you are! I am so proud to know you. Don't ever hesitate to jump in there with your opinions (the good, the bad and the ugly). I love a big opinion. I have a few of my own. In case you haven't noticed.

Have a spectacular weekend!

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Friday Jumbles

--Fav quote of the week: "Solitude brings me back to a simplicity of spirit, an inner poverty that I need in order to clear room inside. It allows me to empty myself out, so there is gracious space within where I can receive myself, then God, and eventually others." -Sue Monk Kidd

--If you usually ignore links to other blogs/websites, please don't ignore this one. Click here and go read what Bruce Goddard wrote this week. It is beautiful. I don't actually know Bruce, but I do know his sister, Kikki, and her three kids that all hail from my hometown in South Georgia. He has such a special way of describing small town life and the commonality of the human experience. Do check it out.

--I know I have said it here before, but it bears repeating. Please get your heart right with God because if you do not, I am pretty sure that you will spend all of your hellacious eternity raking leaves and spreading mulch. I can't find it in Scripture, but I am 97.6 % sure that it is true- eternal damnation involves any lawn tool with a long handle and something heavy at the end of it. And I don't say this because I just spent two full days working in my yard. Sheer coincidence.

--I am sad to report that I have lost something very dear to me. Because I am a bit of a neat freak (those who know me can hold their rude comments, thank you very much), I seldom lose anything. Except occasionally my sense of decorum. But let's face it... you don't live as the only female among three large, hairy males and one small, prepubescent male and come away unaffected. I digress. I have lost my recipes. I know I packed them when we left Georgia (or did I ????) but I cannot find them anywhere and now I feel lost. Alone. Hopeless. Whatever will we eat? My grandmother's fudge pie recipe, my great grandmother's biscuit recipe, my high school Health Occupations teacher's chocolate chip cake recipe....all gone. *sigh* All this on the heels of having to spread two truckloads of mulch! I may need an intervention.

--And finally, I will be spending this weekend with an incredible team of people down in Bradenton, Florida putting the finishing touches on plans for the 2009 Kids Aflame Camp. If you have never heard of it, then click here and check it out. You won't find a better kids camp anywhere so if your church is looking for somewhere to take kids that will change their lives, this is it!

Now go forth and have a restful weekend. Love from Taylortown!

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Friday Jumbles

--Fav quote of the week: "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France

--Here is yet another installment in the embarrassing self-disclosures that I seem to find necessary to put in print (and why is that?). I like some of the shows on the Disney Channel. I have watched Hannah Montana so much with my little boy that I actually couldn't wait to see the new episode where Lily and Oliver became more than friends and Miley accidentally found out. (I have my head buried in the crook of my arm right now in shame!) And, if that weren't bad enough, I laugh out loud at old reruns of Even Stevens. They should make a pill for this....

--Okay, here is what happened on Monday that I have been dying to write. I took my three sons to a hair salon in town, you know one of those chain salons that is like a heart-shaped box of generic chocolate candy and you have no idea if the candy or the hair dressers will be any good. They each had someone different and only one was any good. So I went back in to make another appointment with the one who was good so that she could cut all three boys' hair only she wasn't in and I couldn't remember her name and it is rude to say, "You know, the fat one that talks really loud with the strange, spiky hair...yeah I want her." I tried to discreetly describe her and the girl behind the counter seemed sure I was asking for Angela. So I made the appointment. Well....on Monday I took the boys in and who should be cutting their hair but Angela- a woman I had never laid eyes on who had a pair of shears tattooed on her neck behind her ear and who was wearing a t-shirt that said "Fart Now Loading...Please Wait." I am not even making this up!!! I couldn't make up material this rich if I tried! And I could swear that I heard the faint sound of "Dueling Banjos" playing in the background. So then I had to coach the youngest child on how he is NOT to laugh in her face, ask her where she got her t-shirt, or stare at her tattoo and I vowed to them all that next time I would just take them downtown and let some homeless person who lives out of the back of his van cut their hair because, honestly, it just couldn't get any weirder than this.

--I should get an award for the number of runon sentences in this post. Have a happy weekend and for the love of all that is good in this world, be careful where you go for a haircut!

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Friday Jumbles

--Fav quote of the week: "When a business or an individual spends more than it makes, it goes bankrupt. When government does it, it sends you the bill. And when government does it for 40 years, the bill comes in two ways: higher taxes and inflation. Make not mistake about it, inflation is a tax and not by accident." -Ronald Reagan (I know, more Reagan...I loved the man)

--I pretty much ignore everything in the margins of my Facebook page, including all the stuff you can "become a fan of", but I am not gonna lie...I feel so bad not becoming a fan of the Bible or of Jesus. How can you ignore the Jesus icon in the margin??? But I do. Because I don't like things that are cheesey and religious. I might need therapy.

--Just in case you are interested, our little weekend debacle ended in a new radiator for the Taylor family van. The fun continued on Tuesday when the one magical belt that apparently causes the van to run, shredded into a million pieces while we were driving on the interstate. Lucky for us, we were less than a mile from yet another mechanic that had the amazing capacity to look at us as if we were the dumbest creatures on the planet for not having anticipated this problem. Silly mortals that we are....

--If you haven't seen this clip from Britain's version of American Idol, you have to click over and see it. Extraordinary, I promise!!! I have never seen Simon look like this.

--I have been thinking about risk and the absolute absurdity of doing something that has no guarantees and no predictable outcomes and you know what I think? Even if you fail, it is worth trying. There is no chance of touching any deep waters when you only walk along the shoreline. Even so, there are times when I would like to just curl up on the shore for a short little nap. Oh, the enigma that is me!

And do have a wondrous weekend!

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Friday Jumbles

--Fav quote of the week: "Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels." -Bob Thaves

--I murdered a big, fat, juicy cat this week. Actually, it was involuntary cat slaughter. His family decided not to press charges. It seems the feline was suicidal since it ran out in front of my van that was going 65mph. I felt pretty bad about it, but my van full of teenage boys found it highly entertaining. I don't really foresee any of them becoming animal rights activists.

--I watched "Sweet Home Alabama" the other night for the thousandth time and finally decided that I need to know what "baloney cake" is. So I looked it up and, if you are curious, you can go here to see the recipe. I will refrain from giving my opinion on this unusual concoction, but let me just say that I was born and raised in the South and I have never eaten this! I had never even heard of it until I watched this movie.

--Click here to read a really great post on the ultimate goal of a leader. It is a tremendous little morsel of encouragement to leaders at this time in our nation's history. Check it out.

--If you have never heard a thirteen-year-old boy, whose voice is still changing, play and sing The Allman Brothers' "Ramblin' Man" at the top of his lungs then I question if you have really lived. Just for the record this was not one of my boys but I will still refrain from using his real name to protect the not-so-innocent. I tried to get him to let me video his "performance", and I use that term loosely, but he said no. If his mom is reading this, take heart...puberty is just cruel that way. It is running positively rampant here at my house and this is why I sometimes just leave and go to the mall. We who have already fought puberty and won must, at times, seek out comfort and solace. And silence. Have mercy...

--And finally, I have a burning question that I would really like answered. I love all things Christmas and especially Christmas trees with the beautiful ornaments and twinkly lights. That all makes perfect sense to me. Even the reindeer and snowmen, which have nothing to do with the birth of sweet baby Jesus, are endearing and decorative. However I do not, for the life of me, understand hanging plastic eggs from long strings on a tree in your front yard in celebration of Easter. I realize that I might be offending someone and Lord knows it won't be the first time, but I just have to know WHY??? This isn't a religious statement I am making here. In fact, it would fall more in the home decor category if anything. I just need answers, people.

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Friday Jumbles

--I learned this week that if I eat 569 Hershey's Special Dark candy bars at one time, the amount of caffeine in that much chocolate will kill me. There most certainly are worse ways one could meet their demise.

--FYI-my hubs and I are thinking of buying some canoes since it now rains more here in Georgia than in Mt. Waialeale, which I read this week gets more rain than just about anywhere. But I am sure you already knew that. If this keeps up, we might just load up the fam and move to Seattle. I have always wanted to see the Space Needle.

--Fav quote of the week: Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is. -P.J. O'Rourke

--I nearly caught our kitchen on fire this week. It seems that you are supposed to turn on the burner UNDER the tea kettle and not the one in front of it that is covered with the cute burner cover. My oldest son, who coincidentally nearly caught the kitchen on fire the week before, was good enough to point out, as he passed through the kitchen, that the burner cover was on fire. Ever quick on my feet (NOT), I whacked the burner cover and sent it flying across the kitchen, sending a shower of sparks every which way. Oh, it was exciting. Not much happens in Columbus.

--And finally, did you know that the two people who started and operate Snopes.com are a husband and wife team (Barbara & David Mikkelson) whose headquarters is their double-wide just outside of Los Angeles? And they run it by themselves. Incredible! This is where I confess that if I had an enormous internet business of that size, I would hire a staff. And buy a house. Made of bricks. Just saying.

Have a great weekend. And take a nap!

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Friday Jumbles

It's been a strange week, so let's just jump on into my thoughts. The water is mighty fine.

--After our southern blizzard this past Sunday, my kids and I had an interesting day on Monday watching the shimmery, white evidence melt away into sunshiny oblivion. Kind of sad, really. No matter what room you were in, you could hear the steady trickle of melting snow coming from the edges of the roof. What was interesting was that it didn't really sound or look like rain but rather like someone peeing from the roof. Yes, I said "peeing"...so sue me.

--Fav quote of the week: "Extreme taxation, excessive controls, oppressive government competition with business, frustrated minorities and forgotten Americans are not the products of free enterprise. They are the residue of centralized bureaucracy, of government by a self-anointed elite." --Ronald Reagan (I know...I am on a Reagan kick...I love the Gipper!)

--I have been watching "Gone With the Wind" with my three sons this week (yes, they were forced) because one of them has been studying the Civil War. I think it makes what often seems so clinical and sterile in a history book come alive and become "human". It has been fascinating to see my boys react to the horrors of that war and what it did to people, how it changed them. Even though it is a "Hollywood" depiction of war, it still drove home some points I was trying to make as they studied the facts. It really is a movie everyone should see once in their life. And surprisingly, they really enjoyed it. Counting the five inches of snow on Sunday, that makes two miracles in one week!

--"Oh, Ashley, you do love me don't you?? Say it, Ashley, tell me that you do love me and we can run away together." Oh. Sorry. It's stuck in my head.

--And speaking of shallow women and the men who love them, my boys were especially amazed at the number of men falling all over themselves in the presence of Scarlett O'hara when she was clearly shallow and manipulative. Why not choose Melanie who was so good and pure of heart and pretty, they wondered? Ahhhh, I have done a good job raising them....

--And finally, my Christmas cactus (and, yes, it is definitely a Christmas cactus) is covered in a profusion of beautiful, red blooms on this fine March day. When did I enter the twilight zone?? Merry Christmas everyone!!

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Friday Jumbles

--Fav quote of the week: "Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. -Ronald Reagan

--As a general rule I am not a procrastinator but I have finally admitted to myself that there are a couple of things that I just don't seem to want to do. Like move all of our medical records to a new doctor up here. I just HATE dealing with the office personnel at my former doctor's office so I have been acting like Scarlet Ohara..."I will just think about that tomorrow." But I only have one more month left on my prescription for the one medication I take and I have to go to a doctor. What is wrong with me??

--This weekend is The 30-Hour Famine, an initiative of World Vision, that will see about a half a million teenagers fast, pray and fundraise to raise awareness of world hunger. Funds raised by teens will go to Uganda, Zambia, Rwanda, Zimbabwe, and other nations affected by famine. To read more about it, click here.

--Through the miracle of Facebook, I have reconnected with an old college friend, Lynne Beach, with whom I shared more than a few laughs. She is deliciously sarcastic-an acquired taste to be sure, but if you have hung around here for the last year and a half or so then, hello...you must have the pallet for it. Her collection of writings are funny, endearing and nostalgic. Check out her blog here.

--And finally, I am feeling a little cranky and out of sorts. NBC has been serving up warmed over episodes of The Office and it just isn't doing it for me. Is the season over?? Is it really, really over?? Does anyone know? Hello? Somebody?

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Friday Jumbles

--I saw two shocking sights in traffic this past week. One was a nun dressed in full habit and the other was a bearded man smoking two cigarettes at the same time. They were not together. Even as I write this, it sounds like I live at the circus...

--I am pretty sure I am suffering some short-term memory loss. I keep forgetting that we burned some frozen pizzas beyond recognition recently (yeah, I'm thinking of writing a cookbook). I forget, that is, until the oven is preheating again and the noxious smell of charred pizza cheese wafts out from the bottom of my badly neglected oven. Why can't I remember this??

--I'm sorry, what was I saying?

--Kem Meyer (communications director @ Granger Community Church) posted this video on her blog this past Monday....really good. If you think you might be the least bit spoiled or ungrateful, check it out.

--You have to question your parenting skills, as I did this week, when one of your sons begins a story with, "I remember the first time I licked a battery..." Who does that more than once???

--Fav quote of the week: "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." -Oscar Wilde

--I read this week that the Arkansas Senate will be voting soon on a bill that would allow churches to decide if their congregants can bring weapons to church with them. A Little Rock pastor stated that he " believes it would disturb the sanctity and tranquility of church.” You think? Personally, I feel that nothing brings the peace that passes all understanding like a deacon packing an uzi.

--And finally, here is a link to a fun page I found. This will come in handy if you have elementary school age children or if you are feeling a little full of yourself and need to be brought down a notch. I don't like to brag, but I did make an 86%. I may not be smarter than a fifth grader but I could totally kick some butt in a kindergarten!

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