Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What Matters Most

I spent yesterday afternoon with Miss Susan, one of my very favorite people, who has been a mother to me over the course of the past nine and a half years. When I have lost my way, stuggling to find God's perspective, she has been there to hold my hand and tell me what I need to hear even when it is hard. She is what Ann of Green Gables called "a kindred spirit and a bosom friend". Had we been born in the same era rather than 45 years apart, she would have been my very best friend. I spend time with her most every week, but this time we weren't just talking...we were dancing together through her memories. We went through all of her books and she told me where this one came from and who gave her that one and what was happening when she read them. She let me have whatever I wanted and while I was thankful to have some really great books to add to my own library, I was more moved by the fact that they are hers. She has held them and read them and written in them and they smell like her and her house. And it was so consoling to just be in the silence of her now empty house, side by side, perusing shelf after shelf of books, she being lost in her memories and I in the wonder of a life lived to please God and God alone.
I have watched her as her own life has taken some painful turns and she always smiles and says, "Darlin', God knows just what He is doing and I know this is all for my good." How many times have I left her home, after being sufficiently hugged and kissed, and wondered when I would ever have the wisdom and grace of this woman? She has taught me that what matters most is not all that we see and do and plan and think. And certainly not the things we accumulate, even wonderful books. What matters most is drawing close to our Father, curling up in His lap and listening, allowing Him to have His way in us. Nothing more. And I want to be just like her when I grow up.