If You've Never Failed...
You've Never Lived!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
You’re Soaking In It!
Life as I know it has returned to a state of "normal". I will make no attempts to define "normal", although I usually do enjoy defining the completely subjective because it helps me to bring order to my already cluttered mind. I am attempting instead to experience moments of life rather than always trying to define them. As founder and president of the Think Things To Death Society, this is nothing short of miraculous. Now, where was I? Oh, yes...
Normal. We have moved to another state, put most of our worldly possessions in storage and are currently living in someone’s guest home for a loosely determined length of time while we catch our proverbial breath and wait on God to show us what is next. I'm sorry, did I say normal? I meant utterly ridiculous but utterly ridiculous is the new normal and so here we are, living on a gorgeous spread of land, complete with horses in surrounding pastures, swimming pool, tennis court, basketball court, workout room, and a beautiful home with every creature comfort possible. The sheets with the incredibly high thread count are, in my opinion, just the cherry on top. And if there is a down side to all of this it would only be that there are around a dozen deer and elk heads hanging on the walls in the great room and I swear they stare at me when I play pool in my pajamas.
Oswald Chambers talks about being "put into soak before God". The innermost life is where the real action is, after all, and there are times when God pulls us away from the shop window, where most church leaders live, to rec
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Goodnight House and Goodnight Mouse
It is four days until moving day and all of our belongings are jumping into boxes by themselves while a roll of packing tape zips through the house, seeking cardboard that needs sealing. I WISH! Actually, it is all going pretty well and on schedule. It is sad how much I love those two words..."on schedule", but there it is and I cannot change who I am so instead I embrace my love of order and schedule.
That being said, I did linger a bit in our guest room as I packed up the tangible remains of the life of my mother. For those of you just tuning in here, my mother lived with me for the final year of her life and this month marks two years that she has been gone. The day after her memorial service, I took all of her things that I wanted to keep and shoved them into a closet in our guest room and so it has taken me a little while to touch and smell each thing before putting it in a box. I gazed around the guest room that she called home for her final year of life and remembered so many conversations we had and thought of all the old black and white movies we watched together, and I wondered to myself if the empty place she left inside me would ever stop aching. I suspect not.
My husband and I have lived in lots of houses in many different cities, a path we chose together nearly twenty-one years ago when we agreed to go wherever God said and pour our hearts and lives into others. But this is the first time I have felt sad about leaving a house. Some of our friends have had the experience of raising their families in one place, maybe even one house, and there have been times I have envied them. But just briefly. I love all the amazing people we have met and friendships we have formed by living in different places and, while this way of life wreaks havoc on your finances, it does bring heaven to your heart. Still, leaving this house hurts and I am trying to make time to feel what I feel, grieving a little over the ending of a season of my life that was searingly painful and deliciously wonderful all at the same time. How I am feeling reminds me of my very favorite children's story that my mother read to me when I was small, Goodnight Moon. Each page shows the little bunny saying goodnight to different things in his room until he finally tells the moon goodnight. It is important to say goodnight to the the places and seasons and people that matter.
Goodnight Lake City. Goodnight Christian Heritage Church. Goodnight house!
Friday, September 25, 2009
When God Closes a Home He Opens a Window
Let me start by giving credit for my catchy little title to my friend, Tim Smith. His sense of humor...it is so choice.
Now, down to business. If you are just tuning in, I have been chronicling our journey into the unknown and you can catch up by clicking here, here, here and here. We have been packing and praying, trusting that when our house closes in two short weeks we will not be homeless. Homeless was just not on our list of options. I am kidding of course, but my point is that we have been growing short on time (yesterday marked eight days left until moving day) and long on uncertainty. The amazing thing about following God is that even when circumstances appear uncertain, God is a sure thing.
Every time.
Just not according to my timetable, which we waved bye-bye to long ago.
So...the night before last we received an offer to move our family into the guest home of some very dear people. Wow! This offer will afford our family an opportunity to rest, pressure-free, and to "lie beside still waters" so that He can "restore our souls." This totally confirmed that the Lord wants us in Valdosta, GA for this season of time that we know in our hearts is still transitional. There will be more ministry ahead for us and we know in our hearts that God has us in a holding pattern for now. And holding patterns are not so bad when you know Who is holding you.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Why Am I Telling You All Of This?
So glad you asked...
Those of you who know me personally are aware that I am anything but mysterious. I used to wish I could be an enigmatic, elusive personality that people were dying to figure out. Yeah...that's never going to happen. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my opinions on the outside of my mouth, which gets me in a world of trouble. Wide open though I am, there are places in my heart that are seen by invitation only, and I am particularly careful about displaying the details of my life during periods of transition.
You see, my hubs and I have moved more than a few times in our almost twenty-one years together, and we have been the butt of more than a few jokes over the years. For so long the pain of being misunderstood overshadowed the beauty of knowing we had obeyed God. There were times I would forget that when it is all said and done, His delight in me is what counts.Yet somehow my heart has reached that wide-open place of acceptance. I have accepted who we are and the unconventional path He has called us to walk and I no longer look for the unexpected curves and contours of our life in God to mirror that of someone else. The virgin Mary would have never found another whose path resembled hers. And the truth is we are all "incubating" the life of Christ, but we must free one another to be the unique expression of that immense life, no matter how different from our own it may be. Oswald Chambers said this:
“God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is.”
What utter freedom, what unending abandon there is in that truth. He decides for me. And you. And no two paths are the same. The community of believers should be like an art museum where we gaze with wonder and appreciation at the breathtaking differences in the lives of each believer. And that is why I have opened this part of our life for you to see. I have written much about following Him at any cost and now I am giving you a peek at what that looks like for us and for our family, at least right now, at this moment. It's weird. It's unconventional. But it's real.
What about you? What is God doing in you right now?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
We Asked For This
I told you in my last post that all of the strangeness in which we are currently living is something that we asked for. Yes, I did end that sentence in a preposition. I can't be held responsible for my behavior at this time. You see, we have three sons, two of whom are teenagers, and we have been praying some big prayers for them. One year ago, the path of our life veered off into Timbuktu (figuratively, of course) and throughout this process we have asked God to show Himself to our boys in a big way. FYI-be VERY CAREFUL what you pray for! Never, ever do I want to demonstrate small living, small faith or a small God to my own kids. I want them to taste the immensity that is God and His Kingdom so that they will become obsessed with following Him anywhere, anytime.
And so here we are, stuck between the Rock and a God place, with no plan B. And we are watching, listening and waiting. These are perfect conditions for God to show up and show out. And my three sons are a captive audience for a God who never fails.
Check back in soon. I plan to tell you why on earth I am sharing so much of my personal life in such a public way.
A Tale of Two Cities...Taylor Style
The clock is ticking and we are fast approaching moving day. Our house is a flurry of cardboard, paper and questions and we are making every effort to move with calm assurance through a season that we do not fully understand in a way that honors God.
So, here is where we are. My hubs and I are considering two different cities and we are still not clear which one will be home. Truthfully, we need a miracle in the arena of housing and so we are waiting to see in which city God will perform this amazing miracle. And we now have...(you can hum to yourself while I count)...eleven days left until we have to move. We have less time than we originally thought because we realized we would have to move on a Saturday to have any help. Now, I realize how utterly ridiculous this must sound to most people and even our own three sons, who are used to us and the way God usually leads us, are looking at us like we have lost our everloving minds. But here is the thing...we asked for this.
I would explain what I mean but I am running out of time! Check back for the next installment of what has recently become my "reality blog"....
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