Friday Jumbles

--Sexist Observation #341: It is physically impossible for male children to actually get their dirty clothes INTO the dirty clothes basket, even in a well-lit and uncluttered laundry room. I have no experience with female children. If you have no children yet, it is best to begin lowering your expectations now.

--If you have a minute, check out Tim Stevens blog from yesterday. It is obnoxiously in your face and I usually have a deep appreciation for that.

--Fav quote of the week: "Halloween is just an excuse for women to dress like prostitutes. You know it totally is." Jim Gaffigan

--Confession: I might have previously exaggerated just a teensy bit on how often I get shopping carts with broken wheels. However, since I first posted about it in my blog, I swear it has happened EVERY TIME I have gone to Walmart. Must be some communist-buggy-sabbotage-conspiracy-thingy!

--Another linky dink...check out Eddie's blog from last Friday. Truly rocked our little world.

--Still praying for our house to sell. I'm not gonna lie...I am about a quart low on faith today. I really shouldn't be in light of the aforementioned occurence in Eddie's blog. What can I say? I am painfully human.

--I raked leaves yesterday. I think that everyone that winds up in hell will most likely be raking leaves for the rest of eternity. Either that or cleaning grout. It's a toss-up.

--If the stars align just right then perhaps our beloved Georgia Bulldogs will actually beat Florida on Saturday. You can stop laughing now!!

Read more...

Breast Awareness Month

No, the title is NOT a mistake. Recently my son, Periwinkle, (names have been changed to protect the innocent) announced to his brothers that the reason the waitresses at a local restaurant were wearing "Save the Ta Tas" tee shirts is because it is Breast Awareness Month. That's right...cancer has nothing to do with it. So, dear readers, take a moment before this month is over to pause and become aware of your breasts. Or your lack of breasts. Go ahead...have a leisurely stroll down mammary lane. Now don't you feel truly inspired??

I am Beth Taylor and I approved this message.

Read more...

Scratch That.....

In my post this morning I declared that I would not share my political  opinions.  I am retracting that statement and I am asking you to please read this article before you go and vote.  I am categorically and unapologetically opposed to abortion.   Nothing anyone could ever say to me would change my mind.  I am also pro-choice.  I think a woman should have a right to choose and that choice should be made before she has sex.   

The article I reference here by Robert George is the most thorough explanation of Barak Obama's stance on abortion that I have ever read.  Please be informed on where Obama stands on this issue and what this will mean for our country should he be elected.  Many issues are at stake at this pivotal time in history, but none so important as the preservation of human life.  This is not a short article but it is hugely important.  Feel free to forward a link to this blog or a link directly to the article.  Please be informed and please, please vote.

Read more...

The Wisdom of Yesterday

I avoid all things political in this blog because I am highly opinionated on the subject and basically intolerant of opposing views in this one arena.  Hey, at least I get points for honesty here, right?  Anyhoo, since we are fast approaching the big election day I want to spare you any personal opinions and instead share with you the words of some of our founding fathers.  

--"It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible."  George Washington

--"Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people.  It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."  John Adams

--"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, and that His justice cannot sleep forever."  Thomas Jefferson

--"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone."  John Quincy Adams

--"The Bible is the rock on which this Republic rests."  Andrew Jackson

--"The less government interferes with private pursuits, the better for general prosperity."  Martin Van Buren

These words represent the heart of the leadership that aided in laying the foundation of this great nation.  How have we drifted so far from our beginnings?  As you prepare to go out and vote next week for our next President, please consider the words of the Presidents of yesterday and remember why we came here in the first place.

Read more...

Everybody Limbo!!!

I looked up the word limbo in the dictionary and I found the following definitions:  suspended, on hold, up in the air, on the back burner.  This is a good description of what limbo is.  

 The other definition of limbo is the Indian dance in which the dancer bends backwords in order to pass under a horizontal bar that is progressively lowered.  I think this definition is a more accurate picture of what it feels like to be  "in limbo".  You feel like if you bend any further, you might snap in two.  And the fire is a nice touch in this picture.  Nothing like the fear of incineration to help you bend backwards even further.  Funny but there is no one standing around in festive hats clapping for me right now and I am bent way backwards!

 

Limbo is a most unusual "unplace" in which to find yourself.  Have you ever found yourself there for an undetermined amount of time?  How did you cope?

Read more...

The Beauty of Margins

One of my favorite leadership talks to give is that of self-leadership.  You cannot effectively lead others until you are successfully managing yourself.  Of great importance in this arena is building margin into your life.  Margin is the extra time that you may need as you live this gloriously unpredictable life.

Case in point would be my life yesterday morning.  I was gathering my family together so that I could drive my husband to the airport to catch a flight.  We left plenty of margin within our schedule and it was a good thing as our battery was dead-graveyard dead-when my husband tried to start the van.  Time for plan B.  Because of the margin we had built into our schedule, we had plenty of time to go get another battery, install it and still get to the airport, after having a quick lunch, with time to spare.  This is the beauty of margin.  

I was taught early in life by my grandmother that tardiness is the highest form of selfishness because it communicates to others that your time is more important than theirs.  She always told me to allow more time than I thought I would need so as to NEVER keep others waiting.  And this lesson has served me well in life.  The slow traffic, dead batteries and coffee spilled in your lap as you pull out of your driveway can all be handled without costing others if you build margin into your schedules.  Try it this week.  It will bring you great freedom, cost you little, and speak volumes to others.  And if the unexpected doesn't happen, you will have a little extra time to create something beautiful in the margin of your life.

Read more...

Friday Jumbles

--Chronicles of Charmia: Epilogue...I went to Walmart (see below) this week to buy toilet paper and lo and behold, what did I see in the middle of the aisle? A HUGE display of Charmin multipacks....on sale. Then the heavens opened and the angels sang and a blue bird landed on my shoulder. Okay, not really, but it could have happened. It had to be a sign from God and right now I could use one.

--I went to Walmart again this week and rather than take the first cart available, I gave it to the older lady that came in the door right behind me. My good deed for the day. I then took the next cart for me to use and I PROMISE YOU....two of the wheels were broken! I am going to have to shift the percentage up from last week to approximately 84%. Moral of the story: Nice girls finish last due to a broken-down buggy.

--Important quote of the week: It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. --Dave Barry

--My sons were discussing breast implants in the van earlier this week. We passed a Curves gym and my youngest thought it was a place to get breast implants (or boob jobs as he so eloquently put it). He then began a monologue about how interesting it would be to have an implant in your forhead to make you look like an alien. He said it would be called a "freast". I can only imagine what he will become when he grows up...boggles the mind.

--If you are considering buying a new fragrance for the man in your life and you have thought that the new Tim McGraw cologne might be nice, please lie down until this urge passes. Eddie sprayed it on himself (without smelling it first, mind you) in the store the other day and we had to ride home with the windows down. One of the boys even gagged. I think this was just for effect.

--I was driving around town the other day and I got behind a truck that had a bumper sticker that read, "TURD". Now I ask you, what would possess a person to put that on their vehicle?? Is it a southern thing? Should you really need a passport to come down here? You can't even find anything like that in a country song on the radio! Just one of those things that makes you say, "Hmmmmmmmm."

Read more...