So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehen Good-bye...

I am shutting down my blog for now, my friends, as I take time to consider the direction my writing will take. I appreciate every one of you who have joined me on this two year journey and I will miss you. Have a peaceful and joyful Thanksgiving!

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Never Too Late

"It is never too late to become the person you might have been." --George Elliot

I love days like today, days that are are cloudy, cold and windy. I love them because they make the inside of my house feel cozier, warmer and brighter. All I want to do on days like this is curl up under a chenille throw on my couch and read a good book and sip hot tea and luxuriate in the yummy goodness of home. And ignore my children and the ringing telephone and refuse to cook dinner and...

Sorry. I got carried away.

I do find it so odd, though, that when the circumstances of life mirror days like this, when the landscape of my existence is dark and cold and windswept, all I can see and feel is the outside. While the stormy afternoon only serves to magnify the warmth and comfort of the refuge of home, the difficulties of life often overshadow the warmth and comfort and coziness that can be found in the refuge of God. Why is that? Shouldn't the dark circumstances of life stand in stark contrast to all the light and comfort and protection of the home we have in the shadow of His wings?

I think it is all part of this process of becoming, this learning to live in oneness with the Lover of our souls. It takes time. And it takes much stumbling and falling and then just as much getting back up and moving forward to change our perspective. When Paul talked of being "crucified with Christ that I might no longer live, but Christ lives in me," (Gal 2:20) he was speaking of this divine perspective, this arduous journey from self-awareness to God-awareness. He longs to be that to whom our gaze is drawn when the storms come, that we might be identified with Him alone and not to the fears that threaten when clouds roll in and the winds pick up.

It is a process. It is a journey. And it is never too late.

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To Be Sure of You

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting alone in my bedroom, rocking and staring out the window, feeling rather sad and wondering why. My husband came into the room and stretched out on the carpet beside me. Putting his feet on the stool between us, he looked over at me and asked me what was wrong. I didn't have an answer so he just smiled at me and we fell into a long, luxurious silence. After a few minutes he asked me to put my feet on the stool so they would touch his. "I just want to feel you next to me. I need to know you are there," he said.

With the myriad uncertainties in my life at this moment, it is consoling to be sure of what really matters....that I am loved.

By my husband.

By my God.

Sometimes it just helps to reach out and be sure of it.

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Jesus and .38 Special

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” --Pericles

The American dream is to own a piece of land to call home and build a life around it, raising a family and acquiring possessions. Nothing wrong with that.

And yet...

when we consider how Jesus lived, His stability was not found in possessions or a house with His name on the mailbox. It was not even found in an untarnished reputation.

It was found in relationships with the ones that He led and ultimately the One that He followed. That is pretty simple.

Things get complicated when we rely on the lives we build for ourselves to fill the void. Equity and assets are very nice but we must remind ourselves to hold on loosely (thank you, .38 Special!). And disappointment is inevitable when we depend on the absence of change to maintain our peace of mind. Some equate stability with unchanging circumstances when really stability comes from unchanging commitment to relationships, first to God and then to those people He puts in our lives.

Starting over, bottoming out and reaching dead ends are not nearly as daunting when we can see and embrace the bittersweet truth of James 4:14, "You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." With that in mind we can focus on our nearness to God and the deposit we make in the lives of others and let everything else fade into the periphery. Where it belongs.

I want to live life like Jesus did...holding on loosely with open arms and an open life.

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Being Spontaneous Makes You Ugly

It has been eleven days since I last posted anything and I just have to say that my newfound freedom to be a total slacker...it is so freeing. Please know that I have not been wasting my time. I have been doing many important things, like staring out the windows, daydreaming and trying to figure out how to get my new Georgia driver's license without admitting how much I weigh. The folks at the Florida DDS are not near as nosy as they are here in Georgia. So I did what any self-respecting southern woman would do. I lied. And I don't care who knows it.

They showed me, though. The picture they took was unspeakably hideous. To be fair, that could have had something to do with the fact that my grossly infected left earlobe was bloody and swollen from twenty failed attempts at putting in my earrings. And the fact that I had food in my teeth and was wearing my finest pair of yoga pants with a t-shirt and sweat jacket. I am nothing if not elegant and well put-together.

In my defense (like I need one...sheesh) I had no prior warning that a trip to the Georgia State Patrol office was in my immediate future. My husband just showed up and said, "Hey, let's go get our Georgia drivers licenses." That very moment presented me with the choice to be one of two things for my man: flexible and spontaneous or well-groomed and attractive. So I opted for spontaneity. I should only regret that decision for the next five years or so until it is time to renew the darn thing. My only request is that if you see me, do not ask to see my license. It will not bode well for you.

Love,
Miss Spontaneity

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