Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Jumbles

--This just in from the Department of Disease Control and Extreme Neuroses: It came to my attention this past week that the coffee stirrers at Starbucks fall under the same unfortunate contamination risk as the toothpicks that were tested back in the 1980's for traces of urine. You remember that study... where they tested the unwrapped toothpicks in the dispensers on restaurant counters only to discover traces of urine and other yummy bacteria. (This is where I was going to reference this study, thus proving my thorough and dependable reporting skills only I couldn't find one. It's true though. You can trust me.) I realized this when I met a friend for coffee this past week and was in need of a stirrer. Sadly, I have been to Starbucks hundreds of times and this is the first time I thought of this. What kind of racket are they running? No way am I stirring my mocha with a urine stick. Anymore.

--My children have all been away this whole week and I have made some startling discoveries:
1. I enjoy extended periods of quiet. Okay this is not new information but it was worth pointing out.
2. There have not been any blobs of toothpaste in any sinks and no toilet seats left up. I have been suspecting them all along but this just confirms my husband's innocence.
3. Our grocery bill hit a record low this week, confirming my suspicions that boys really do have hollow legs.
4. I enjoy extended periods of quiet. Oh, wait...I already mentioned that.
5. I am waaaaaaay more productive when there are no arguments to referee and I am not constantly saying, "Turn that lousy excuse for music down!" or "Which part of 'NO' do you not understand?"
6. I miss my hungry, messy, loud, toothpaste wasting bottomless pits when they are not here.

--The sands of July are quickly running out...hope you are living big this summer!