Tuesday, November 18, 2008

And Then The Roosters Showed Up...

Anyone who has ever sold a house knows how "unfun" it is to keep the said house in perfect order all the time.  This becomes even more challenging if there are three boys living there as they do not fully comprehend the reality that the realtor can call at any time and want to show your house with precious little warning.  Let me give you a fun example of what it looks like when that call does come and you have an hour to get your home perfect and your entire family, dog included, out of the house.

Yesterday, I got the call at lunch time but before anyone had eaten anything.  I then had to get my hungry boys to make the underwear that usually hangs out of their partially open drawers to magically disappear while assigning someone to quickly run the vacuum.  The vacuum decided to begin emitting a foul and suspicious "rubber belt simmering in a dirty sweat sock" smell which quickly filled the house.  Not to worry-there was plenty of time to sprinkle fragrant carpet fresh powder all over the carpet and then grind it in with my sock-covered feet because there was no way on earth we were turning that smelly vacuum back on.  Thanks to the refreshing fall winds that blew over the weekend, there was a three inch carpet of leaves on the front patio and walkway that had to be swept up.

  And then the roosters showed up.  I am so not kidding.  Sauntering through my front yard were two very stupid roosters who obviously had no internal clocks as they were crowing at the top of their lungs.  Did I mention it was noontime?  Now, for those who do not know me, I do NOT live in the country and I had no idea why there were roosters in my yard, but I was pretty confident that they would not be a bold selling point for the potential buyer that was due at my house in twenty minutes!!  And yes, I did go after them with my broom in my hand in true cartoon fashion, hoping and praying that a car would come along and make rooster pancakes of them.  

It turns out that the roosters really weren't the lowest point.  When I returned home after the showing I discovered a toilet FULL of bright, yes-I-did-take-my-vitamins-today yellow urine with the lid up for everyone to see.  Never have I felt so proud.  If these people do buy my house, I am wearing a bag over my head at the closing.


Kelly Bell November 18, 2008 at 8:56 AM  

Oh No, that sounds awful! I remember those days when we were selling our house and Caroline had literally just come home from the hospital. I just told the people that we would step outside since we had a newborn and thankfully everyone was OK with that. Are you and the boys staying in Lake City? I thought you all had moved.

Joylene Green November 18, 2008 at 11:14 PM  

I'm laughing WITH you on this one... roosters and pee. nice combo.

Melissa November 25, 2008 at 7:39 PM  

you are so funny...really ne of the funniest people i know..your blog always makes me laugh? any takers on the house yet?