Monday, February 11, 2008

How Can I, Lord?

There are times that the Lord requires something of you that you just aren't sure you can do, something that hurts you deeply even though you know that it is what must be done. I find myself at such a place and I ask the Lord to please give me courage when what I really want is a plane ticket to a nice sunny island somewhere far from this road of heavy responsibility on which I find myself. Deep in my heart I want only to follow my Father who loves me unlike anything I have ever known and yet there are times that I question Him and I make no apologies for it. It is okay to question Him, tell Him you are hurt with Him and wrestle with Him just as Jacob did. When we wrestle with Him, He is touching us and this is a good thing and maybe, just maybe, we will come away marked by the Lord of the universe, never to walk the same again.
William Booth once said that "the greatness of a man's power is in the measure if his surrender." To this I respond by waving my white flag that I keep in my pocket for days like this. I am His daughter and I am compelled to give in to His leading, but even so, there are times I don't like it and I don't hesitate to tell Him. I have been criticized for this and told it is irreverant but I don't believe that is true. Scripture gives many examples of those God called His friends that related to Him in this way that is often misread as audacity but is really authenticity. I don't want to talk to Him like others think I should--I want to talk to Him like I have been since I was a little girl and had no one to turn to but Him...my Father, my Faithful Friend. He knows me and what I have with Him is real and true and honest.
So, right now, in the middle of another hard place I ask, "How can I, Lord?" And He says what He has always said, "With the help of your best Friend."
Here I go....

4 comments:

Ashley February 12, 2008 at 9:24 AM  

Oh Beth. I just read this having come out of a frustrating conversation concerning some major life decisions.. and you pretty much hit the nail on the head..

Kate.Taylor February 12, 2008 at 12:56 PM  

I couldn't have needed to read this anymore than I do now. I feel like I am walking on that same road. Thanks for the encouragement...and no worries...I PROMISE IM CALLING SOON! :) Love you

Eddie Taylor February 13, 2008 at 7:15 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eddie Taylor February 13, 2008 at 7:16 AM  

Psalms 34:5 MSG "Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him."

Excellent. I love you deeply and forever.